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"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will make your paths straight." Prov 3:5-6 child of God * announcements * YF Church Camp JUMP Fellowship * blabbers * * stars ago * November 2004 December 2004 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 July 2006 September 2006 October 2006 January 2007 * starry friends * sunflower absolutely random fly me to the moon mr. incredible underwater babe forcemajeure * prayer request * 1. me to continue to grow in the Lord. 2. me to be a shining light; good testimony to all those around me.
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* previously * TWO - O!为什么这样子？ Beware! First post on TMT! Hazy Weekends That's it. I suppose that's no such thing as suppose brrr... it's cold in here! Forbidden City Geography Exam! EOY
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* Saturday, July 08, 2006 * Why do you believe in God when you have never seen, touched, heard, felt and smelled God? An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, the Almighty. He asks one of his new Christian students to stand and..... Professor: You are a Christian, aren't you, son? Student: Yes, sir. Prof: So you believe in God? Student: Absolutely, sir. Prof: Is God good? Student: Sure. Prof: Is God all-powerful? Student: Yes. Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm? (Student is silent.) Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good? Student: Yes. Prof: Is Satan good? Student: No. Prof: Where does Satan come from? Student: From...God... Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? Student: Yes. Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct? Student: Yes. Prof: So who created evil? (Student does not answer.) Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they? Student:Yes, sir. Prof: So, who created them? (Student has no answer.) Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God? Student: No, sir. Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God? Student: No , sir. Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter? Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't. Prof: Yet you still believe in Him? Student: Yes. Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Student: Nothing. I only have my faith. Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has. Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat? Prof: Yes. Student: And is there such a thing as cold? Prof: Yes. Student: No sir. There isn't. (The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.) Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.) Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness? Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness? Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.... But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you? Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man? Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed. Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how? Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey? Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do. Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.) Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.) Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (The class breaks out into laughter.) Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?.....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.) Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son. Student: That is it sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Saturday, May 27, 2006 * Think this is super funny lah... haha. It's a flash video talking about the Da vinci code... "Truth is truth. False is false." What happens when others think that the truth that you believe in is false? Wanna know how to defend your faith? Come for Glory Presbyterian Church LOCK-IN NITE! Venue: Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Secondary School Time: 8pm to 8am Dates: 31th May (Sec 1-3) 1st June (Sec 4 & above) Cost: $5 One Truth. Believe it. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Saturday, March 04, 2006 *
"Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you." Revelation 3:2-3 "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:15-16 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:20 "He who has an ear, let him hear..." Labels: Christian/Church
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* Monday, January 23, 2006 * I earnestly seek prayers for my little bro, Jeremy... He's in sec one now and he has just shifted back to stay with my parents all the way in Pasir Ris. Recently in school, he has got issues with the teacher and have attempted to jump off from outside his classroom situated on the 4th floor. Apparently, he refused to go for detention (becos he missed remedial class) and began showing signs of anger. He turned over the tables and chairs in class... banged his head against the wall... ran out of the classroom and tried to jump. Thank God the teacher managed to stop him in time and sent him to the school counsellor. This is not the first time my bro tried to take his life... He tried to cut his wrist when he was in primary school. We kinda concluded that he was emotionally unstable when my mom contracted cancer a couple of years ago but we did not take any serious actions. This time around, after a long talk with the school counsellor and the vice-principal, they suggested bringing him in to a psychiatrist at IMH to receive proper treatment. There were talks about asking him to shift back to Bukit Panjang or even transferring school.. but i think my parents are quite persistent in having him stay there. However, i think it's good that he stays in his school because of all the friends that he has already made and that he has a counsellor in his school who understands his problems. 1. He has been attending church with my parents since young. Pray that he'll come to know God in a personal and intimate way.. not just knowledge of HIM but knowing HIM as our Father. 2. He has been staying in Bukit panjang with my grandparents, now that he has shifted back to Pasir Ris with my parents. Pray that he'll be able to cope living in a new environment. 3. Pray that he will be able to adjust into the secondary school setting with much ease. 4. Pray that he'll be more open to share his problems and his burdens with the people around him... hopefully ultimately he'll turn to God for his problems he face in his life. 5. Pray that my family will be understanding and to be able support him emotionally. 6. As he'll be receiving treatment at IMH soon, pray that he will be able to learn to handle his problems in a proper manner. Also pray that i'll be able to be responsible in bringing his for his appointments. I trust that the Lord has not forsaken us nor forgotten us. "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." (John 13:7) Indeed, there may be many unfortunate events in our lives but i've learnt not to question the Lord in times as such. But to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding... (Prov 3:5) HE is our sovereign Lord and HE has the best plans for us... I'm fully convinced that HE is in charge now and forever more. We might face rejection from men, even from our closest friends, but we'll never be rejected by GOD. Thanks for all who have been praying... do continue to pray for us. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Saturday, January 07, 2006 * Yup. I'm officially back in choir... which means no more pool sessions on friday nights... no more jamming after yf... no more staying out late on saturday nights... but it's okay. I'm doing this for God. As much as i will miss doing all the stuff that the youths do together after yf, this is a service which requires a teenie meenie sacrifice. Compared to Christ's sacrifice for us, mine is nothing at all. Sometimes i'm just paranoid, fellowship and service are all important aspects of a christian's life but somehow fellowship does not weigh as important as service. The fact is that i love singing... a lot actually. I can just sing non-stop, regardless of what i'm doing... and if i'm able to glorify God while doing the thing i enjoy a lot, better still! The thing is, i want to serve Him, wherever He place me. Somehow i feel a little inadequate or rather, missing out in the youth fellowship... it's not that i miss out on the activites.. i'm not. i do attend YF, i do serve in the music ministry in YF, i do have a "JOY"ous group where i belong to BUT it's only for one day of the week. AND i'm not even spending the time that i should. Most of the time i just come, sometimes sing, then off for choir practice i go. I want to just stay around with them, catch up with what happened throughout the long week etc. or at least have a nice dinner... HOWEVER. I'm trusting that He has the best plan for me and it's all in His hands. All i have to do is stop worrying and trust in Him. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Sunday, December 25, 2005 * I'm at home alone now... such a weird feeling. heh. I've always spent my Christmas in my granny's house with everyone... Counting down together with my cousins.. singing with the carollers that would make their way to granny's house in the middle of the night. This is the first Christmas I'm not spending with them... first Christmas I'm spending in Glory... first Christmas I'm counting down alone at home... first time I attended the Christmas concert in Glory... first Christmas I haven't gone to Orchard road to admire the lightings and decorations... first time I'm blogging on Christmas night... first time I'm not going to any parties... It's different and feels like something's amiss. Like it's not Christmas at all. But what IS Christmas? Is it just turkey, ham, roast beef, wine, Christmas carols, parties, stayovers, count downs etc.? I don't have all of the above but I'm still enjoying every bit of this special occasion. A quiet and peaceful night gives me time to reflect and ponder on the true meaning of Christmas... how Jesus was born this night more than 2000 years ago... how a Saviour was born into this lost world... how our Messiah was born in a lowly manger. All because of God's amazing grace to redeem us of our sins.... to save us that we may have eternal life through the Son. Last Christmas, at this time, I was still in the hospital... spending Christmas' eve all by myself. It was really depressing man... It was like... what a place to spend this occasion. Thank God Karen came to spend some time with me before the clock struck twelve... But I was thinking of all the places I should be at... having a gathering at h's house with the rest of the people I enjoy being with... should have gone to church for the concert.... should have sung as part of the choir in the concert... should have gone carolling for the very first time of my life... Should have this. Should have that. Should haves... I'm starting to find this phrase really redundant and useless. What's already done cannot be undone. Whatever had happened happen for a reason. What's the point of saying "should have"? Instead of looking, wondering at what "should have" happened... we should make use of what we have, what we are given and make the best out of it. Yes, I should have done this and that tonight. But now, I'm just gonna make use of this time to quieten my heart and reflect... since I'm given the time and the peace! hah. That is so unlike me.. but I'm liking the change. Having a truly blessed Christmas. Pray that you'll have a blessed Christmas too. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Monday, October 24, 2005 * Yesterday is gone. Music Sunday is over. Can't help but feel a little relieved. It was a pretty stressful morning... having to wake up early didn't really help - had barely 3 hours of sleep... Was busy adding in the subtitles to "Copi-o Gau No Enough" because of the headachy audio... Then I had to run to church (not all the way of cos...) because I was running late. Oh well. Managed to reach right before praise and worship segment that Em led ended. Maybe I shouldn't have ran so fast... The screening was rather good I thought. Not sure if the audience understood the cinematography but... it doesn't really matter, does it? Then it was time to meet for the final preparations for Music Sunday. Ran through everything one last time and we were good to go. My voice sounded weird. Couldn't reach the high notes as well. Cause: lack of sleep + didn't warm up during service + "pris" 'n' chips after-effects? AGRH. Thank God I had Joan and Beni to back me up in praise and worship and our song item respectively. I was super nervous can. Butterflies in my stomach. TOO MANY PPL. Plus that was supposed to be evaluation after the workshop with j... Gosh. Half way through the whole thing I felt like I needed to go to the restroom. Personally I was very pleased with the band's performance (as in 表现-biao xian, NOT 表演-biao yan), they were great. And I think the whole programme went on rather smoothly EXCEPT for the closing song. I'm soooo sorry. It's my fault. My mind blanked out for a short while. After the whole thing was over, many came to encourage me, sang praises and thank me. I so do not deserve all these. It's the Lord's doing. I didn't do anything. I only made a blunder in the closing song. (-__-") Anyhow, I'm super thankful to them for always encouraging and appreciating. It feels great leading His people to sing prasies to Him in one voice. Amen. HMM. Had headache and puked again. Think it happens pretty often. Is it normal? Maybe I have a tumour in my brain... I won't be surprised if I really do. Think I'm getting more idiotic each day. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Wednesday, October 19, 2005 * One and a half more hours before I can finally leave this place... Bro came visit in the afternoon... at least there's someone here to keep me company for a few hours. hee. I've got another visitor now... a petite but really violent one. A LOST KITTEN. This setting did not make the situation better. Thousands of people walking to and fro... pop songs blasting away at the DJ station... the faulty photo-printing machine at the other corner that kept saying "select option... select option... select option... select option..." Little kitty came running in front of my stall, scaring screaming women in short skirts and heels. Dashing in the speed of light, a rodent I thought it was. It longs to go back to where it came from. This place is not meant for a kitten. It does not belong here. Running round and round the gigantic fountain umpteen times, it still can't find its way out this enormous mall. All it sees is glass doors that surrounds... keeping it from going out into the world. Frantically searching for a way out but it sees no open door. Or rather it didn't even know where the open door is. Someone tries to help and bring it out but it struggles to break free, hurting the guy in the end. His hand is now covered with blood, the ground is blood-stained. The lost kitten is now hiding in a corner beside my stall, meowing away. Several times, people come and offer to help but it scares them away with a "roar". I feel helpless everytime it meows. HEY KITTY. I CAN'T HELP YOU WHEN YOU REFUSE TO BE HELPED. SORRY. There is a puddle of walking under the cat. It peed. It's trembling in fear. I spoke to it in all the languages I could think of asking it to leave by the exit right on the other side of my stall. I even tried meowing to it. It's no use. It won't listen or shall I just assume that it doesn't understand... I know I'm a little impossible to be able to connect this two issues together BUT well, this kitten's situation is like that of a backslided christian. Somehow, christians who have backslided are like the kitten... this mall is like the ways of this world, the sinful human nature... the world outside is where we will be with God and have an intimate relationship with Him... the people helping it are like people like our mentors, pastors, teachers or even God Himself. They long to go back to where they once were... close to God, sharing a relationship with Him, being at the center of His will. Like how this kitten is longing to go back outside. Everyday, they live their lives not knowing where they're heading... they know they are seeking for something that's missing in their lives. But where exactly is it? Sometimes, when people want to help and guide them, they just shoo them away in arrogance. Screaming a lie out loud, "Don't touch me! Leave me alone! I'm not lost!" There are times when they hurt the people who want to help them as well and soon, no one would bother anymore. They constantly seek for that "open door" when it's actually wide open. Why do they fail to see? In the end, they hide in that corner and lament on why they can't go back to their first love. They run away when confronted, and just refuses to be helped. to be continued... Labels: Christian/Church, School/Work
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* Sunday, October 16, 2005 * LAZINESS IS THE CAUSE OF IT ALL. Anyhoosies. Yesterday was the recording day for "Copi-o Gau No Enough". It went on pretty well, with a proper script I wrote over a few days... having good actors helped quite a fair bit too. Thank God we managed to work out the schedules so that we can finish it all within that few hours before YF. We shot in the market... we were so blessed for having no lunch crowd when we were there! wow. Anyhoosies. Those who go to the market quite often with me will know that there's this cleaning lady I'm super afraid of... She is like having PMS everyday lah. Super "buay song" when she works... After my first bad encounter with her, I would try to avoid her whenever I go to the market... I wouldn't want to cross her path man. Still remember there was once when I asked her to clear and clean the table for us, she came with that "black" face and very unwillingly cleared the table then she swept some dunno-what on me! She should be thankful I'm not the kind of person who will kick up a big fuss... if not. On another occasion, I was sitting at the table waiting for the others to come back after ordering their food... then when I got out of my seat to go and place my order, she was clearing the table right behind me! There wasn't much space between the seats with 2 people standing there so I waited. After a while, I concluded that she will not finish clearing the table as fast as I make my way through... so I walked sideways and I was already on my way out. She just had to turn around at this point of time! gosh. I stepped right onto a land mine! Nearly banged into her... and she was scolding me without words. Hmmm. I can tell she's scolding me even though there weren't any specific words of condemnation. *Speaking from experience* That's it. After that, whenever I go to the market, I will look out for her... just to make sure I won't get in her way. However. After some time, we came to a conclusion that she is deaf and she can't speak. No wonder. Alright. My suspicion has been proven true. I saw her when she was off-duty. She looks happier than when she is not working. Her colleagues were trying to speak to her by inventing new signs that all will understand. I wished I could talk to her. I wished she wasn't so fierce. Somehow. On that very same day when we had some problems with the drink stall uncle because of some ridiculous misunderstanding, she was the one who was told to come and clear our tables. It just had to be her. After clearing our cups away, she kinda signalled to us that the man want us to leave... it was then when I finally plucked up my courage to sign to her. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I just needed that platform for that first conversation to take place. Anyhoosies. I saw her again when we were shooting... She was coming to clear our table and I signed a simple "Thank you" to her. All of a sudden, she smiled and 'said', "AH, you were the one talking to me the other day! No wonder you look so familiar!" Then she asked how i know sign language... before I realised, we were engaging in a conversation! She was asking what we were doing... what it's for... I was really glad that I managed to talk to her. I look forward to seeing her again. I pray that one day I would able to testify to her. Labels: Christian/Church, Random
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* Friday, September 30, 2005 * I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day. I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have time to pray. Problems just tumbled about me and heavier came each task. "Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered; He answered, "You didn't ask." I wanted to see joy and beauty but the day toiled on, grey and bleak. I wondered why God didn't shown me, He said, "But you didn't seek." I tried to come into God's presence, I used all my keys at the lock. God gently and lovingly chided "My child, you didn't knock." I woke early this morning and paused before entering the day. I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Saturday, September 24, 2005 * Amen! This year's Parents' Appreciation Nite went great... really thank God for answering our prayers. It was an evening filled with laughter and tears... acting and singing... giving and receiving... appreciating and understanding... thanking and apologising... loving and caring... I was really touched by all the performances that the youths have put up... they have selflessly put in a lot of effort and time into making the whole event a success. As I watched the video... the things that the youths say to the parents... Tears welled up in my eyes. The thing we normally say are so often not the things we really mean... (that's why our group - JOY did an item along that line... "what we really mean"! hah.) When they showed the clip of parents saying words of encouragement to their child(ren)... I was super touched. They might be busy all the time... They might not understand the things we do... They might not approve certain habits of ours... But they truly love us. We do have to reflect. When you say things like... "Tell you, you also won't understand..." Have you actually tried explaining? Most of the time, we don't even give them a chance to understand. When you say things like... "Can you not interfere with my life..." Can you imagine how much it hurts them? They were the ones who gave you life (literally)... who have brought you up and have provided for all your needs... Would you have survived up till this day if not for them? Think again the next time you are tempted to say such things... God was really with us throughout the entire event... He has so graciously guided us and let everything fall into place perfectly. I was so amazed that we ended at 730pm (as scheduled) on the dot. Amen! This wouldn't be possible without Him with us... no matter how man can plan, God is indeed the ultimate planner. Through this night, God was teaching me to not worry too much. Normally, I would be sooo stressed with the little details like "who's offing the lights later?"... "can i remember the lines?"... "will i sing out of tune?"... "will i forgot what i'm suppose to do?"... these kind of stuff. I get tummy upset when I'm super stressed. It's not a good feeling... I'll not be able to do what I'm supposed to do well. However, this time round, I committed everything unto Him. I have asked in His name and have received His blessings and my joy is complete. It's in His Word! He promised... "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12 Tonight might be a special night when we all show appreciation to our parents... but it should NEVER stop here. Every single day should be a parents appreciation day. Have you told your dad that you love him lately? Have you told your mom that you really appreciate everything she does for you lately? If not, maybe it's time to do so. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Wednesday, September 21, 2005 * I'm not a wall. I'll say it again. I'm not a wall. At least I don't throw words back at you like the wall does. Whatever. Lord, help me to speak with wisdom and knowledge. Help me to speak with love. Help me to speak with mercy. Put Your words in my mouth Lord, that I might speak. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Tuesday, September 20, 2005 * Jesus, Lover of my soul Jesus, I will never let You go You've taken me from the miry clay You set my feet upon the rock And now I know I love You, I need You Though my world may fall, I'll never let You go My Saviour, My closest Friend I will worship You until the very end Dearest Heavenly Father, Thank You for giving me life that I might enjoy all things. Thank You for being the only one true God. Thank You for making me a new creation. Thank You for being my Father. Thank You for providing me with everything. Thank You for dying for my sins that I might live. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for giving me a heart that longs for You. Thank You for being who You are - The Almighty One. I have so many things to give thanks for. I'm just so grateful to You Father. How can it be that You gave Your life to die for my sake on the cross? I do not deserve this O Lord. Only by Your mercy and Your grace that I can stand here and proclaim Your love for me. Lord, I know I am nothing but a sinner. But Lord, You've given us the priviledge to call You Father; to call upon Your Holy Name. I'm sorry Lord, for not being the salt and light of the world as I ought to be. I'm sorry that I haven't been the obedient child as I ought to be. I'm sorry Father, for not putting You first in my life. I'm sorry for sinning against You. I'm sorry for hurting You. Please forgive me Lord, as I bow before You in reverence and in fear. Please take me back to Your side Lord. Bring me back to that place again, where I may enjoy Your presence each day. And Lord, indeed, my world will fall apart without You. Hold me close to You Lord. My life is in Your Hands Lord; mould me, use me, fill me, lead me, send me, walk beside me. Take my life and let it be - do as You please Lord. I love You. I need You. Yes Father, I will worship You until the very end. In Jesus' Precious Name, Amen. Labels: Christian/Church, Songs
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* Wednesday, September 14, 2005 * Got the following from the bulletin from the 10th Anniversary Celebration... thought it will be good to get everyone praying for these: Praise the LORD for the newly appointed deacons - Wisanu, Witchit, Weekit & Samakee. Pray for them to be good models for the other believers and to serve the LORD and His church faithfully. Pray that the Thai Ministry in Glory Presbyterian Church may continue to be the sending base for the missions work in Thailand. Pray for stability of the Thai ministry, that all fellow Singaporean, Thai and Korean co-workers in this ministry will serve and work together harmoniously. Pray for the English teachers to teach the Thai people with love and patience. Pray for the Thai believers to witness to other Thai brothers in Singapore. Pray that the Lord may provide a suitable full-time pastor for the Thai Ministry in Glory Presbyterian Church. Pray for Rev. Kim and his family to be recharged with His grace and power during their sabbatical. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Friday, September 02, 2005 * we are the band.  Me. I sing... although I can't sing for nuts.  Natx. Our guitarist who's crazy about planes.  Benitata. Our pianist gone mad...  Pris. Our drummer with the blur attitude...  Aaron. Our bassist who acts 'ah mah'... Look out for us in Glory Presbyterian Church on Sunday School Music Sunday Labels: Christian/Church
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* Sunday, August 28, 2005 * Are you an ambassador for Christ? Are you practising what you preach? I was in this cab today after my cousin's birthday celebration... had a long talk with the cab driver. I don't know how we digress but at one point we were talking about christians. (He started it!) He was telling me and my godma about how one woman scheming went in front of the taxi stand (ignoring the queue) to flag his cab. Then he commented how people nowadays are very self-centered... I can't help but agree. He suddenly said this, "A lot of people talk to me about christianity. But i think they shouldn't criticise other people's religion... I was also a free thinker turned Buddhist. They can tell me about their religion but they shouldn't put down other religions."Then we had a really interesting conversation... (In mandarin) Mr. Taxi driver: Do you know City Harvest? Me: Yah. Mr. Taxi driver: You go there? Me: No.Mr. Taxi driver: Oh good. Don't go there. Me: Eh? Mr. Taxi driver: The people there no good one. Fight for cab! That day i saw many people calling for cab in city harvest so i went there... aiyoh. people run across the road just like that for my cab! own people fight with own people for cab! They actually have their own taxi stand set up for them but they don't want to queue... go out and fight for taxi with own people! I paused in silence. He went on... Mr. Taxi driver: They are supposed to be special people! but in the end they are like all of us! no use lah. Christians are just like any other people! 'Special people' occupied my mind. In their eyes, we are 'special people'??? They recognise that we are different from the rest of the world. But that's only means that we shoulder a greater responsibility to be the light of this world. Me: They might not be Christians at all. Many claim to be Christians but they might not be at all. Then i went on to explain the many who are "radically-churched"... the difference between them and true Christians. I was glad he took it quite well and discussed it with me open-mindedly. Mr. Taxi driver: You are a Christian right? Me: Yup. We are called to be His child - to walk in the light in this world of darkness. We have to be conscious before we do anything... we are responsible to God. We also have to know that whatever we do, we are watched by everyone else. (However, we should NEVER let this be the cause for good works.) They expect to see Christ in us! IF WE LIE, WE SET GOD OUT TO BE A LIE. "If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth." 1 John 1:6 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Cor 5:17 Is Christ living in you? Are you a new creation? I pray that your answer is yes. I know mine is. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Monday, August 08, 2005 * i was talking to someone one day... it set me thinking. read on. maybe it will set you thinking as well... her: hey, are you very involved in your church? me: involved? what do you mean? her: as in do you go to church more than once a week for service? me: yup... her: what do you do in church? me: i attend the youth fellowship in my church.. it's on fridays. and i'm in my church's choir... also on fridays. and i'll attend the thai service on sunday when i'm free. she's a non-believer. i'm not sure why she asked me so many questions... it doesn't seem like she's interested. she seems like she's trying to find out something. her: don't you feel tired having to juggle so many things? you got time meh? aren't you very busy? me: yah.. i feel tired very often but i've to find time for everything. and it's a different kind of feeling when i do things in church. her: huh? me: i mean.. aiyah. don't know how to explain lah. it's just different. doing something i think is important. although it wouldn't seem as important to other people. hee. very often i will be loss for words. times when i can't put what i want to say into words. it's frustrating i know - for the person i talk to. but hey. i do feel frustrated too. her: ok... ask you ah. if you find a job you love very much but it will not allow you to go to church at all. what will you do? me: got job like that one meh? disallow me to go to church? is it some kind of anti-Christ organisation? haha. her: not lah. maybe your job would require you to work on weekends? then you won't have time to go to church on sunday mornings... then how? i paused for a moment. hmmmm. i know what my answer SHOULD be... but i don't know what my answer WOULD be. it's so true... i should start thinking of this right now. i'm heading into an industry that would probably require me to work irregular hours, on weekends even. what would my answer be? to give up my job for the Lord? then wouldn't it be senseless that i'm studying so hard now to get into THIS industry? is this Your will, Lord? what should i do? show me thy will... lead me. guide me. her: *sigh* i don't understand why some Christians must go to church every week. are you like that too? me: i would think that i would want to go to church every week. but in times of situations that doesn't allow me to, i would weigh the importance. her: what if you have a school performance? me: hmmm. i think for competitions, performances... those are pretty valid reasons. it would be ok to miss church once for that. provided that there are no responsibilties that needs to be fulfilled in church that particular week lah... eh. it depends on how they place their priorities lor. her: i've some students that are just so stubborn! they die die must go to church one leh. cannot miss church means cannot miss church! i felt a need to defend the "other" christians she was talking about... but i wasn't given a chance to. her: hey... come to think of it. what you are studying now would probably land you in the filmming industry right? then they got all those rituals before filmming one right? what would you do ah? me: don't get involved lor... as i said that, my mind was in a real mess... i was still thinking of all she asked previously. then i got really random. i started thinking about something someone said to me about where i'm heading... i think it was the speaker for youth sunday. he came up to me all of a sudden between service and talked to me... we began to talk about what i'm studying and he said this: "what you are studying now is very crucial, it can either get you down with the rest or you can make use of it to change the lives of others. i certainly pray that it's the latter." i pray for that too. her: will you give up what you love for your god? me: i'm sure that my god has a purpose for taking away something that i love and that i hold on to dearly. He knows what is best for me. i am glad i said that. at least i'm sure of something... her: ok... i'm a buddhist you know? me: yup. i don't know why she asked that question... it feels awkward after that. silence prevails... Lord, put Your words in my mouth that i might say what you want me to say. that i may manifest your love and grace. take me, mould me, fill me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me Lord. may i stand in the gap between the living and the dead. may all i do be pleasing to Your eyes. thank you for teaching me so many important lessons through so many ways and people. i pray in Your most precious name. amen. Labels: Christian/Church
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* Sunday, July 31, 2005 * the last time i heard this song was when michael was still conducting the choir in church... i was really in love with this song... the melody was so capturing. tracy and dom did the solo parts and i thought they did a really wonderful job. i've always envied people who can sing really well... it's really a gift. the choir is going to present this song again. however this time is really different. steven and i have got to sing the solo parts. it also speaks to me in a different way this time. the words became the focal point of the whole song, the melody that i fell in love with wasn't as important as before... having to sing the lines over and over again. each word spoke to me. "I, the Lord of sea and sky I have heard my people cry All who dwell in dark and sin My hand will save I, who made the stars of night I will make their darkness bright Who will bear my light to them Whom shall I send? Here I am, Lord Is it I Lord? I have heard You calling in the night I will go Lord If You lead me I will hold Your people in my heart I, the Lord of snow and rain I have borne my people's pain I have wept for love of them They turn away I will break their hearts of stone Give them hearts for love alone I will speak my word to them Whom send I send? Here I am, Lord Is it I Lord? I have heard You calling in the night I will go Lord If You lead me I will hold Your people in my heart I, the Lord of wind and flame I will tend the poor and lame I will set a feast for them My hand will save Finest bread I will provide Till their hearts be satisfied I will give my life to them Whom shall I send? Here I am, Lord Is it I Lord? I have heard You calling in the night I will go Lord If You lead me I will hold Your people in my heart" Lord, may all that i do be pleasing in Your eyes. Lord, help me to forget about myself and fix my eyes on You and You alone. Let it not be a performance but an offering unto You Father. Touch the hearts of the congregation and bless them with Your abundant grace and mercy. In Jesus' name, Amen. Labels: Christian/Church, Songs
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* Tuesday, July 19, 2005 * music sunday's just over... sat through 3 services with the choir. heard the sermon thrice but it spoke to me each time... it was a powerful message and it set me thinking about the music ministry and our approach to worship. we should never merely respond to the atmosphere... we should never forget that it's about experiencing God's power, not let it become a ritual that we perform week after week... we should be careful not to worship worship. worship should not be the focus. God is. when our focus shift, it becomes something else that does not please the Lord. How then, should worship be? it should be intelligent, beneficial to the strengthening of the church, instructed, encouraging, peace (not disorder), fitting and orderly... Rev. Ng then talked about the points to note about worship... 1. worship is not only music/song. so many times we sing the song only because we like the melody or just because it's popular. our focus is wrong. it's not about how nice the music sounds, it's the condition of the heart. mean what we sing and sing only what we mean. 2. Music can manipulate. i always knew that music could stir emotions but i never knew that it is so powerful. when he showed us the pictures without music, it was nothing really affecting. but once the music was added in, i felt more emotional. now that we know this, we should be careful and set our focus on God. and ONLY on Him. 3. Performance vs Service. the songs we choose for worship should also be in sync with sermon topic and should help enhance the message... not to sing the songs for the sake of singing the songs. not to sing the songs because everyone else is singing it. not to sing the songs because we know it. not to sing the songs because it's nice. 5. Focus on Christ vs Self. 6. Pleasing/acceptable to God? 7. "Boring service" may reflect your personal walk with God. there are 2 songs that we sang that really spoke to me. it was Let us exalt His name together and In Christ Alone, i heard the first song last year during global music sunday and it touched me everytime we sang it... the words are so meaningful and it reflects what i want to say to the Lord... i first heard In Christ Alone during the recent thai mission trip... the canadians were asking whether i know this song and taught me how to sing it... the words are just so strong... Let's us exalt His name together At all times i will bless Him; The angel of the Lord encamps round Come children, now and hear me Let us exalt His name together forever. "we do not worship God only when we sing worship songs, we worship Him all the time, 24/7." Labels: Christian/Church
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* Monday, July 11, 2005 * went to visit my mom today... she's in changi general hospital... it is a dark gloomy ward full of groaning patients. i would be really depressed to be in that place... saw my mom lying on the bed, with tubes up in her nose. there were blood in the tube. her nose was still bleeding. but she looked up to me and smiled. i've haven't seen her for ... months? i can't remember. she look different. she had a few teeth knocked out... her hair was exceptionally grey. she didn't blame me for not visiting her yesterday... she didn't even ask why i didn't go. i know she's in pain but she didn't complain at all. i was crying inside. asking God to fill me with strength... to release her from all suffering. i couldn't take the pressure at a point... i went out of the ward... seeking for solace. negative thoughts were just pouring in and drawing me away from God... i had the urge to do something i'm not supposed to. but i didn't. God held me back... He shown me how much i'm needed in this family and i just can't run away like this. that would just be too irresponsible of me. i just needed to calm down and be left alone. didn't pick up calls today... didn't reply SMSes... didn't reply MSN messages... don't know what to say. sorry to all who failed to contact me... sorry for making you worried/annoyed... i went back to the ward after a while... the doc, knowing that i was around, was waiting for me to talk to me about my mom's condition. he took me aside and explained the cause of mom's nose bleeding. i wasn't in a very clear state of mind but he said something about blood clotting system not working very well... but they're still not very sure why this is so. she will be referred to a "blood specialist" tomorrow and she won't be discharged any time soon. my mom asked me what the doc said but i didn't know how to explain... not that i didn't know how to say the words technically but... agrh. it's complicated. dad still haven't found a job yet... don't know how we're gonna settle the hospital bills this time round. medisave? hopefully... pray that God will provide a way out. actually He has been with us, i just failed to recognise that. pray for my lil bro... he's going through quite a bit too... emotionally, spiritually... heard he's not doing very well in school... he'll be taking PSLE this year... hope he will not be too affected. pray that he will not take things too hard too... received calls from his teachers saying that they noticed weird behaviours from him in school... violence... not-talk... dangerous acts... i'm quite worried for him too. He, like me, is a 2nd generation christian... i don't know how real is God to him... whether he has accepted Him as his personal saviour. i do pray so... pray for mom's nose to stop bleeding... she would need to have a transfusion if it goes on like this... pray that God will be with her... thank you all who have been faithfully praying for my family and me. sorry if i haven't been myself. Labels: Christian/Church |
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