twinkle star...

TWO - O!

2007-01-09T14:11:00.000+08:00

2-0

(No, this is not the result of a soccer match i've just watched.)

I've just the BIG 2... is this going all too soon?

Can't believe that's it for my entire teens.

Then again, I'm super thankful to God for all the blessings He has showered upon me for the last 2 decades... the people He has placed in my life to change me, teach me, lead me, love me and mould me to who I am today. The friends that I treasure ever so dearly... sharing our lives together and growing up in the Lord together. Growing up has been tough I must say, pulling through till now is truly and purely by God's grace and mercy. Pray that I'll continue to walk ever so closely with God, shining the light He gave me to everyone around me, loving others with the love that He first gave to me and becoming the woman after God's heart.

The last few days of teens were fantabulous! Went out with some close friends in church on 2 occasions and had loads of good food, fun and great company. :) Oh. and a super nice wallet, super cute pooh, super pregnant giraffe etc... heh. Very like...

But not all's well and lovely on this day though, one class just had to spoil it all. I spent quite some time preparing this particular lesson for my NT english class... trying to make it more interesting for them so that they can learn more effectively. No one's giving up on them except themselves... they just want to waste their time away when people are spending so much time trying to help them. What's the point of helping a class that wants to give up on themselves? Why work so hard for a class that doesn't want to learn anymore? I was so disappointed that I just stopped the lesson and cried. I can't believe I actually cried in class... what was I thinking? ROARS. My first tear in this whole year... on my TWO - O!

为什么这样子？

2007-01-04T16:10:00.000+08:00

You'll need to change your encoding to unicode in order to read the following post... Go to View>>>Encoding>>>Unicode.

我不明白为什么博客内容都变成了中文字。。。自从台湾大地震赵成了网际网络故障之后，电信就变得非常不稳定。就连上一上不同的网站也很麻烦 - 有时要refresh好几次才能够观读到该网。就别说其他网站，说一说博客吧！有时在机缘巧合之下刚巧有空想读一读好友的博客... (alright at this point of time, it has already proven my point. well done.)

To think that I was all so ready to post an entire entry in Chinese, it just had to spoil my plans. Anyway, I'll just continue from where I stop...

哦！不是吧。我都说了，博客真的有问题！现在又可以运用华文了！对了，我刚说到。。。有时在机缘巧合之下刚巧有空想读一读好友的博客，它却会反复无常，好像小孩子在闹便扭一样，真受不了！有时就小差像对小孩那种又骗又哄的做法。若你是博客的用户，你会知道整个博客的运作都是利用英文的。但如今，整个博客网站都布满了中文！不是说我的华文不好，只是习惯性的问题。用惯的东西突然改变了，谁受得了？想一想，Publish 变成了“发布帖子”- 我又不是要结婚。。。发什么帖子？还有，Create (as in creating a new post) 变成了“创建”- 人家不知道还以为要盖房子呢！（到了这里，又有状况。）

Alright, as I was trying to open up another page of the cheena looking blog, I saw something I didn't manage to see before “更改语言”. What the. I never knew I could change the language of Blogger. Dang. But who changed it? I've never seen that function! AGRH. (Sorry Blogger if you feel offended in any way... it was si-ri-ously irrinoying!!!)

Beware! First post on TMT!

2007-01-03T16:34:00.000+08:00

I must say... this is one of my favourite picture taken during the mission trip to Thailand last December. (Never mind the double chin and the bad hair.)

Having kids surrounding you is a great feeling... you can feel their energy and their happiness just bursting forth. We had quite a number of opportunities to teach English in the local schools... really love doing that. They are rather 好学 in a way. They would take down notes when we're teaching upfront and some would take their own set of notes out when they hear something familiar or have learnt before.

Being the photographer of the trip, I took the opportunity to roam around the school taking pictures, going from class to class while my team leader was teaching the class. There were many interesting sights to behold actually... I remembered one school with a huge motorcycle shed... a neato band room... while there are schools with makeshift bicycle area... chickens running around aimlessly... Haha. As I walked past some classes where we were not teaching, some of them would crowd round me asking for my name and laughing at it of cos - for some funny reasons. Some of them would request for me to help them take pictures and then asking me many questions about myself. All these with my limited Thai. Haha.

I think Thais are an affectionate bunch of people... they'll just smile at you even if you don't know each other. They can make a conversation go on well you'll suspect you've just met each other. Gee. This is cool. I'm lovin' it. The more I talk to them, the more I wonder what it would be like if they all knew Christ. They would come to do so much more than we can ever expect.

Hazy Weekends

2006-10-09T07:58:00.000+08:00

How do you make a cup of Hazelnut Coffee?

First of all, I think you'll need lots of Haze... and that's just what we have plenty of recently! (Alright. That's quite lame. My apologies.)

But seriously, the haze was getting real bad siah...

Friday, being the Mid-autumn Festival, my secondary school best friend and I met up to "play with fire". Literally. I know it's pretty childish... to think I actually said that to my students when I saw them gathering to play with sparkles. I went over to her hostel in NIE and we were preparing to play in the corridor despite the haze... BAD MOVE. I think we contributed to the haze after that! It wasn't long before the both of us realised that the smoke the sparkles produced actually looked/smelt like a fire rather than the haze! You should have seen how the 2 of us packed everything and scampered into the room... Hilarious.

Didn't have CG on Sat but a few of us still met up to discuss the script for CG day performance... Well well. Wasn't as fruitful as we would wanted it to be but I think some great ideas were being sparkled. Funny how we were more concerned about the PSI than the script. HAH. Then again, just wondering if it's realistic for us to assume we would have time to come up with a whole new script when all of us are super busy. Hmmm. *shrug*

Clear and sunny Sunday! woohoo! Tennis! Yeah!
oooohh.. Jon made a very funny statement on sunday when we were talking about the PSI-that-thinks-it's-the-stock-market.

"After PSLE, we should ask all the P6s to come together and ask them to bring all their textbooks and have a campfire... We would then pray to God for the wind direction to blow towards Indonesia and we would have our revenge!" Haha

That's it.

2006-10-06T10:33:00.000+08:00

That's it. Seriously. That's IT.

Once upon a time I was still marvelling at my own digicam... A panasonic (dang. can't remember the model...) anyways. Those of you who have seen my digicam... you should know how sleek and amazingly thin it is. Although it didn't have all the wonderful functions a fantabulous camera would have, it had all it takes to be a great traveling companion! Slotting it into my pocket... going wherever I want to with it. With one hand, I could so conveniently grab my cam and snap! AGRH. Is this what they call, "ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END"?

It has travelled to so many places with me so many times... Malaysia, Thailand, Australia. Yet it's still not satisfied. It's looking for adventure. Ultimate adventure. An adventure that cost it its life!

A one way ticket to the WASHING MACHINE. (Although I rather it had been Washington.) *sigh*

I suppose that's no such thing as suppose

2006-10-05T16:20:00.000+08:00

This should no longer be taken for granted... nothing is supposed to be anything.

So many times we would assume that things would turn out as it's supposed to be.. and when they don't, we would be utterly disappointed and question why things just don't fall into place.

Ironically, the meaning of "suppose" is supposed to be to imagine, conjecture. Yet we think that it should happen as we 'suppose'.

Like how students think that teachers are 'supposed' to be... well. A teacher. The problem is, they think that teachers are super-natural beings. They think that teachers can do so many things at the same time, not forgetting anything single nitty gritty thing that students tell them, have 48 hours a day and love the rebellion and troubles they make... oh. and being caring and patient when you refuse to hand in your projects after a few weeks?! Sorry. But teachers are not like that - although they'd try hard to sometimes. Don't suppose that teachers are what they supposed to be. HEY! I just realised... they are NOT supposed to be that in the very first place! But why do the students still assume that they are like that?

This topic is getting interesting.

In many places... we assume that things will turn out as it's supposed to, people would behave as they are supposed to... Many times it does turn out like that but there are also times when they don't. And when they don't, we'd be shocked and question how can things be the way it is when it's not 'suppose' to be. So are we all wrong? Does it mean that we can't assume things will turn out as it's 'supposed' to? Does it mean that we should not 'suppose' at all?

Suppose things don't turn out as it's supposed to? How would you feel?

brrr... it's cold in here!

2006-10-03T10:42:00.000+08:00

In this quiet corner where no one goes to in the staff room...

Here I am, seated all alone.

I miss sitting at MF's table, although it's piled up with worksheets, files and dunno-whats... CDs stacked in an unorderly manner right up to the top of the cubicle... thousands of red pens stuck in a small little pen holder... notice of reminders, letters, timetables collecting dust on the sides of the cubicle. But at least I had neighbours - people to talk to - and right beside ML! *sigh*

I think I've missed the main point again: It's not cold there. I've been banished from spring to winter!

The place where I'm sitting now. Feels like it's below zero degree C.

Brrrrrrr..... I can't feel my nose and fingers anymore. Are they there at all?

Forbidden City

2006-10-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

I must... blog about FORBIDDEN CITY!!!

It's super good... so good that I was loss for words more than half the time. Well, I don't know if it's because this is the first musical I've watched in my entire life... first as in.. live, onstage, performers singing, acting and dancing... excluding the ones I've watched in school of course. This IS my first ever pro musical in the Esplanade!!! wooohooo!!!

As the lights in the theatre dimmed, a low male voice came on out of nowhere and kickstarted the exciting night. I could hear my heart beating ever so clearly... expecting to be satisfied by the performance. The lights all around us were further dimmed, leaving only the lights on stage shining on the props. The first character strided out from behind the curtains... my heart skipped a beat. I was constantly trying to convince myself that I wasn't dreaming. I AM in the theatre watching a musical.

There was a live instrumental ensemble "hiding" at the front bottom of the stage... They were really good. Almost flawless I convicted. I was mesmerised by every single note they played... humming along with the catchy melody... counting along with the steadfast tempo. Oh. Heard that the songs were all composed by Dick Lee, now I am convinced that he is not just a goofy SI judge, but a talented musician.

The performers were all superb! Wow. Must tell you guys about this scene in the train... the coordination and the tacit understanding amongst the performers were remarkable... one after another they sang without mistake. Although they were spread out across the length of the stage, it was still perfect. The ensemble, I must say is made up of talents. Most of them can hold their tune well (well enough as I could hear) and they acted and danced with passion! Woo!

Kit Chan came on and stole the limelight immediately. Her crystal-clear voice resounded in the theatre and I was amazed by her zealousy for music. It didn't take me long to realise why she left the showbiz to pursue her dreams... Music in the industry has become commercialised so much that it has become a mere money-making tool. To her, (and I'm sure many of us) music is art. It's not just an entertainment.

Lighting. Speechless. It's so good that I had a hard time trying to convince myself I wasn't dreaming. It's true... It's happening right before my eyes! The importance of lighting is often neglected in many productions - be it on-screen or on-stage. People will say that the show is good but they often can't tell why. The emphasis placed on each character. The different colours. The different power. They each tell a different story...

As the curtains are drawn, thunderous applause echoed in the theatre. I was touched. Touched by effort put in... touched by the talents... touched by the sophistication... touched by the protrait of the empress dowager.

One of the many reasons why I'm in love with musicals is because of the motifs used on stage... each object having a story to tell. Together with the meaningful and cleverly-crafted lyrics... THIS is what makes a successful musical.

A dream becoming a reality.

Geography Exam!

2006-10-02T12:25:00.000+08:00

Hey Kids...

Please take note of the items you need to bring for the Geography examination:

1. Pencil/Pen
2. Calculator
3. Protractor
4. Ruler (about 15cm long)
5. String (about 30cm long)
6. Colour Pencil/Highlighter (Sec 1s only)

The Chapters you need to cover:

Sec 1s...
1A & 1B
1C: All units except 20 & 23
1D: Unit 24-28, Unit 30

Sec 2s...
Units 1-15, 17, 21-22, 25-26, 29-40

All the best for your exams! Study hard!

EOY

2006-09-29T12:40:00.000+08:00

Exams are here. Finally.

Good bye lesson plans...
Good bye worksheets...
Good bye compos that gives me a headache...

Sigh. However...

Hello boring invigilations...
Hello EXAM SCRIPTS...

Agrh. My stint in teaching has become too real.

Anyhoosies, some of the students make the effort put in pay off!

Schweinsteiger

2006-07-09T04:51:00.000+08:00

3-1

Germany wins.

Thai Mission Trip June 2006

2006-07-08T13:08:00.000+08:00

Pictures only... will blog more about the trip when I've more time. :)

Our Faith In God

2006-07-08T11:03:00.000+08:00

Why do you believe in God when you have never seen, touched, heard,
felt and smelled God? An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his
class on the problem science has with God, the Almighty.

He asks one of his new Christian students to stand and.....

Professor: You are a Christian, aren't you, son?

Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal
him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't.
How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella.
Is God good?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
Correct?

Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student:Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe
the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student: No , sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science
says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat,
mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have
anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat,
but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold.
Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot
measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir,
just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....
But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness,

isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue
there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God.
You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and
magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that
death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life:
just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved
from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of
course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where
the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour,
are you not teaching your opinion, sir?
Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's
brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain,
felt it, touched or smelt it?.....No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect,
sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH.
That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

Super duper busy...

2006-05-31T12:23:00.000+08:00

Cheers to my super duper busy week!

I'm leaving for GB camp now and right after that it's 1st night of lock-in nite! woohoo!

Been sleeping at around 4-5am every night... morning actually. Preparing stuff for games... writing clues... writing instructions... doing intro video... but it's funny why i enjoy doing all these things.

Suddenly i realised that it's really pretty freaky to be sooooooo busy. I'm leaving for thailand this friday and i'm not packed yet. Really don't know when I'll find the time to do so siah... maybe tomorrow after lock in nite...Ugh.

Having a headache now.. think i slept too late last night and woke up too early this morning. Crap. I can't fall sick... at least not now. Don't wanna be sick during the trip... pray for me.

Will update again before i leave for thailand... if i have the time. and energy.

Defend your faith

2006-05-27T18:42:00.001+08:00

Think this is super funny lah... haha. It's a flash video talking about the Da vinci code...

"Truth is truth. False is false."
What happens when others think that the truth that you believe in is false?

Wanna know how to defend your faith?
Come for Glory Presbyterian Church LOCK-IN NITE!

Venue: Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Secondary School
Time: 8pm to 8am
Dates: 31th May (Sec 1-3) 1st June (Sec 4 & above)
Cost: $5

One Truth. Believe it.

kids talk

2006-05-12T01:12:00.000+08:00

"Ms Chang, how come you wear digital watch? Adults must wear the clock kind of watch!" - kid at tuition centre
First time i heard of such a thing! and they're called analog watches... not 'clock' watch!

"Ms Chang, don't be angry lah. Later got a lot of wrinkles you know." - student in zss
Yah right. Don't be angry when you throw the pen on the floor on purpose so that you can talk to your friend! I'm not blind lor.

"Christina jie jie, how come you never wear your goggles today?" - kid at care junction
Goggles??? Spectacles you mean.

"Christina, next time you come must buy many many let us eat!" - kid at tuition centre
What's a many many? I never eat before.... HAH.

"Sister Christina, i very happy to see but then i very not happy to see you." - girls' brigade girl
Ah. i understand the "very not happy to see you" part... cos seeing me = doing drills! *evil laughters*

"Ms Chiang, i don't want to friend him already! He chicken backside!" - kid at care junction
He chicken what? and I'm Ms CHANG.

"Ms Chang!!!! you got boyfriend not? ... then you got baby?" - kid at care junction
No i don't have a boyfriend and NO, how can i have a baby when i'm not married???

"Christina, can i go toilet drink water?" - kid at tuition centre
You sure you want to go to the toilet to drink water??? By all means! Just don't talk to me after that!

"Cher, last time you zhenghua one right? Ah.. you the sing sing one right?" - student in zss
Hmmmm. Yes, i was from zhenghua but er... i sing sing one?

guest who

2006-04-28T14:36:00.000+08:00

It's another day when I can sleep in without being awakened by the call for me to go relief teach... I was still stoning on my bed when I heard a knock on the door. I panicked. I'm afraid of door knocks either super early in the morning or super late at night. They never fail to scare me out of my wits.

Then, with my heart still pumping really quickly, I opened the door and what I saw a group of people wearing white. Eh. The sight was pretty intimidating. I was barely awake then.

A man who looked pretty familiar said, "DrTeo is coming, please get ready."

Huh?

Oh. that DrTeo.

Crap. My hair's in a mess and I haven't brushed my teeth. There's no way I can do all these in a few seconds.

Keys. Where are the keys?

My gggrandma is no where to be seen. Seems like she went downstairs and she brought the house keys with her. Don't know where I put my own set of keys. How am I going to open the door for him? Never mind.

That man added when I was trying to organise my thoughts. "What's your name?"

Christina.

Before I could do anything, he was here...

"Hi Christina, sorry to wake you up so early. Please vote for me." DrTeo said as he extended his hand out for a handshake and passed me a sample of the voting cards.

Then the embarrassing moment came... he was trying to shake my hand a second time when he passed me the card. Confusing. Especially in the state I was in. Oh man. In the end I can't even remember if I shook his hand again.

Now, just downstairs, a lorry with his pictures and 2 loud hailers is going around the neighbourhood asking people to vote for him.

Back to basics.

The last time I saw this kind of promotional method was in Thailand... the lorry was going around the village. Quite interesting. Of course I didn't know what they were promoting. Heh. If only I can understand...

I'm still not eligible to vote yet. I doubt it'll make a difference to me though. I'm quite bo chap when it comes to politics... sometimes not because I don't care, it's because I don't know. HAH.

RT (part 1)

2006-04-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

I haven't gone back to my sec school for almost 3 years... and this time, I'm back as a relief teacher. Exciting.

When I was still a student in that school...

I disliked morning assemblies.

I disliked Monday assemblies.

I disliked the rules that made me wear a hairband.

I disliked it when I forget to wear nametag.

I disliked singing the school song.

I disliked going up on stage to sing it.

I disliked seeing my face in the school song mtv.

I disliked hearing my voice in the school song.

I disliked going up to make announcements for band.

I disliked doing duties in the morning.

I disliked queueing to buy food during recess time.

I disliked teachers who act fierce.

I disliked climbing up the stairs to my classroom on the top level.

The list goes on...

Now,

I still dislike Monday assemblies but I enjoy morning assemblies more. Missed singing the national anthem and reciting the pledge.

I like the rules that require students to keep their hair neat and tidy but why don't they need to wear nametags now?

I like the school song better now because I don't have to go on stage to sing it... neither do I have to see my face in the school song mtv... nor hear my voice in the school song anymore.

I don't hear no announcements now.

I like it when I can go and eat whenever I want to.

I like teachers who help me scream at my students when they misbehave.

I like taking the lift.

Why do people treasure things only when they've lost it?

met(mad)woman

2006-04-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

I hate/dislike/detest/loathe carrying umbrellas...

It might be threatening to rain or have even started to drizzle when I leave the house BUT I'll never bring an umbrella with me. Never.

It has been pouring these few days and each time, if I'm out, I'll be drenched from head to toe... At this rate, I'll probably die of pneumonia soon.

Today, it was threatening to rain... I decided to bring an umbrella with me lest I get caught in the rain again. But guess what...

&#%*#@!?&%^@

IT DIDN'T RAIN.

Next time you don't want it to rain, just give me a ring... I'll bring an umbrella out.

Arrrgh!!!!

2006-04-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

Do you know that mucus attracts ants?

My pile of tissue papers can testify to that. Or is it just mine?

*sniff sniff*

What a mess.

iwannawatchdachangjin!

2006-04-18T12:20:00.000+08:00

My neighbour is watching dachangjin!

Actually, there's nothing wrong with that. BUT look at the time! It's 12.20PM... It's not showing on TV now, meaning they're watching VCD! Crap.

Their TV is super loud. I can clearly hear everything... the music at the beginning as well as the dialogues. AGRH!

Can hear but cannot watch. SO IRRITATING!

sick.

2006-04-18T11:41:00.000+08:00

I didn't have to pay a cent for the super combo I have... if only it's a meal with mixed grill combo!

This is a combo of sore throat, ulcer, sneezing, running nose, blocked nose.

Feels as though my nose is falling off soon. *ah chooooo*

Where is the bus?

2006-04-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

That was the question I was asking myself the whole time I was waiting for my bus after giving tuition at Clementi...

I reached the bus stop at 6.23pm. I was standing together with the crowd who is going home from work... 105...106...154... one by one they came and went. Everyone would tiptoe and look over shoulders whenever they see a tibs bendy bus approaching... 189 never fails to deceive all of us at the bus stop. Crap.

So many times I've thought of taking the MRT or hailing a cab even but I just wanted to see how long it would take the bus to come to the bus stop... At 7pm, having been waiting for more than 30 mins, I started to doubt if the bus even comes to that bus stop. This is bizarre. Where is the bus?

All of a sudden, the whole bus stop seemed to be flocking to the back... Gosh. It was 184. Finally. My watch reads 7.48pm. Oh wells. ChannelUSuperBand has started... which means that I've stood at the bus stop for 1 hour and 30 mins!

As it was the first bus that came after more than an hour, it seemed like the whole bus stop full of people boarded the bus at each stop. We were like a super big can of sardines.

When the bus was approaching maju camp, we saw a police car parked horizontally on the other side of the road. Immediately I concluded that there must be a serious car accident along that stretch of road. Then we went a little further up... lo and behold, there was a huge tree lying across the road and a car stuck beneath it. The whole stretch of road from SIM to after NP... numerous cars and buses were trapped. Apparently they were there for a long time... the buses were all empty, the cars' engines and headlights were all turned off and the people were all outside their vehicles.

I counted... there were 8 184s there! At the end of the jam, or so I think, there were cars reversing... where to I'm not sure. But the sight of it was rather funny.

I thought the jam ended at KAP... how wrong was I! When my bus turned out into courts, the jam was still on on the other side of the road! This is indeed a super massive jam man.

I reached home at 8.45pm. Only got to watch a mere 15 mins of ChannelUSuperBand. *Agrh* Gggrandma was grumbling by the time I got home - I got our dinner with me.

WOW. I took almost 2 hrs and 30 mins to get home from Clementi.

2006-04-10T12:05:00.000+08:00

Times of refreshing
Here in Your presence
No greater blessing than being with You
My soul is restored
My mind is renewed
There's no greater joy Lord than being with You

It doesn't matter if I've lost everything in this world.
What matters most is that I've God in this world.

Imagine if this is true...

2006-03-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

New Employee Rules & Regulations 2006

1. Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed accordingly to our salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.

2. Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

3. Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

4. Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders Category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company mental health policy!

5. Lunch Break

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management.

To eat or not to eat

2006-03-10T11:47:00.000+08:00

A 2-days old prata is beckoning me.

I'm hungry.

I shouldn't eat it.

I'm hungry.

It might be spoiled.

I'm hungry.

My stomach might get upset.

I'm hungry.

Whatever.

Prata, here I come!

It's 9 March.

2006-03-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

On this very day nearly half a century ago, a girl was born. Her mother, who was barely 18 years old, went away after giving birth to her; leaving the newborn with her maternal grandmother. The family, being rather well to do, took on the responsibility of raising up this "unwanted" child.

And so this little girl grew up not knowing who her parents are. All she knows is that her father is a sailor and had died in China; her mother, on the other hand, had gone away - where to, nobody knows.

She grew sensible earlier than the other kids of her age, not because of her nature but because she was forced to. Since young, she was asked to help out with the household chores, to cook for the family, to fetch the younger cousins to school, to take care of her cousins and to run any other errands one could think of at that time. She would also be among the first ones to be punished under the rod of the matriarch if anything at home goes wrong. Often, the verbal abuse that she was put through was even more unbearable than the physical afflictions. However, all these hardships were not served to bring her down but to make her a stronger person.

At the age of 7, (Or is it 8? Ugh. I can't remember when exactly. My memory's failing me. Getting old.) she met her mother for the first time. There was another man together with her mom, her step-father. It was a confusing moment. Isn't that the day she always hoped for? The day when her mother would come and bring her out of her misery? But she was uncertain of what might befall... Will her mother abandon her again and run away? How will this step father of hers treat her? No one knows. However, the decision was not hers to make. The matriarch spoke.

That decision has brought her thus far. Having a house she can call her own with the once-reigning matriarch. Hatred has never surfaced in her dictionary. In fact, there is not a single trace that speaks of her unhappy childhood. She is now on good terms with all her family members, i do mean ALL. That includes her mother, step father, step siblings etc. Very often, she is also the middle(wo)man whenever there is a dispute in the family. I respect her for that - for growing out of her circumstances. I admit I always find that very hard and I believe she is there to be one of my role models in that aspect.

We were at One Fullerton, celebrating her birthday over lunch. There she was, seated beside me, putting on her usual radiant smile. Seated in front of me was her mother; she, too, was grinning from ear to ear. Her mom handed her a pair of "red eggs" sealed in a clear plastic bag together with a red packet. If only I can capture the moment of happiness on film. If only... Well, lunch was fabulous. Stories about the past did spiced it up very much. I realised I know very little about her, what she has through and how she feels. I guess it is never too late to realise certain things!

To my Godma:
Mummy, I thank God for touching your life, for giving you a chance to believe and to accept Him as your personal Lord and Saviour many years ago. I'm not here to judge or to evaluate your walk with our Lord but I do earnestly pray that you would continue to grow close to Him and let Him lead your life. Sorry for the many times I have disappointed or made you sad. Sorry for hurting you at times. I really thank you for forgiving me and even comforting me in those times. It has been hard, I know it isn't easy, to lug a kid like me around. I know, I can be really difficult at times. Thank you. Many times I really do not understand the things you do... I just cannot understand your rationale in doing some things. But I pray and I choose to believe you have your own reasons for doing so. I love you, mummy. May the Lord continue to guide you and may you experience His grace and mercy in your life. Happy birthday.

Get TOASTED!

2006-03-08T18:46:00.000+08:00

My hunger has led me to a whole new discovery! I felt super hungry after giving tuition at novena so I decided to make my way to subway for an early dinner... I was trying to ask the girl behind the sandwich bar which sub has discount for that day but I forgot what the promotion is called... so I pointed at the board placed outside the shop... Then she smiled and replied, "We're having a promotion, just get your sub toasted and you'll get a meal free!" Woohoo! Cheap good food. YUMS. Was super satisfied after eating my meal! hee. The idea of having the sandwich toasted is not bad... the bread is a cripsy and warm. Oh. and with melted cheese. I like...

Oh. Hearty Italian makes you messy. Eat with care. :)

The Simpsons Personality Test

2006-03-06T13:52:00.000+08:00

I think I'm really getting bored at home... finding such stuff as a source of entertainment.
AGRH. but no harm having a good laugh at some out-of-the-world results!

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader...

Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer

You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps

Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

The beer part is totally off lah. I hate beer. BUT... how in the world will they know I SING (I'm not trying to say that I've a beautiful voice. I don't.) and BURP??? *shrug*

"He who has an ear, let him hear..."

2006-03-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8

"Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you." Revelation 3:2-3

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:15-16

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:20

"He who has an ear, let him hear..."

"My prayer for you..."

2006-03-02T13:54:00.001+08:00

Remember, this is my prayer for you...

"asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding...that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified youto share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light." (Col 1:9-12)

I've never forgotten this... Sorry that I haven't live it out yet.

Owen

2006-03-01T13:21:00.000+08:00

Haven't met one of my secondary teachers for quite a long time. Her son is the best time detector... As I look at Owen, it suddenly dawn on me that time really flies. It seems only yesterday when my friend and I were still joking that we would take care of the unmarried teachers when they grow old. Now, this teacher has her own family and a son who will eventually take care of her. How wonderful it is to have a family of your own! Really wonder how it is like to have your own child... someone who is really close to your heart, that part that came out of you! Literally. Hah.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

Black and White

2006-02-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

I miss taking black and white pictures...

I miss taking pictures of animals...

I miss taking pictures with Kay Siang's camera...

I miss taking pictures.

Leaving is the hardest part...

2006-02-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

Exactly 2 hours ago, her plane took off.. she left.

She left behind tons of stuff for me.. so much that I've to leave it at her place so that I can pick it up another day when I've nothing on. Bags, towels, facial creams, facial masks, earrings, necklaces, tee-shirts, CDs, discman, VCDs, books etc. It's crazy... She's only leaving for 9 months and she's giving away almost one third of all her possessions.

All I gave her is my passport size photo which she kept in her purse and a hug.

Seeing the person you love walking in through the departure gates should be the hardest thing to do... I hate that feeling.

2006 is a year that I wished never came... it has only been barely 3 months into the year and I've already sent 2 persons off. It doesn't help at all knowing that yet another person will be leaving. What can be worse than this? When you know that the person will be leaving for good. Eventually.

Tomorrow can be too late...

2006-02-02T23:23:00.000+08:00

If you're mad with someone, and nobody's there to fix the situation...
YOU fix it.
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend.
And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late.

If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know, TELL her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you.
And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late.

If you really want to kiss somebody... KISS her/him.
Maybe that person wants a kiss from you, too.
And if you don't kiss her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you... TELL her/him.
Maybe that person have always loved you.
And if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend... ASK her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do.
And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends who you appreciate... TELL them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well.
That if you don't and they leave or go far away today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... DO it.
Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel.
That if you don't and they leave today, then tomorrow can be too late.

春节又到来了！

2006-01-29T15:49:00.000+08:00

恭祝大家: 新年蒙恩, 万事靠主!

Prayer Requests...

2006-01-23T11:51:00.000+08:00

I earnestly seek prayers for my little bro, Jeremy...

He's in sec one now and he has just shifted back to stay with my parents all the way in Pasir Ris. Recently in school, he has got issues with the teacher and have attempted to jump off from outside his classroom situated on the 4th floor. Apparently, he refused to go for detention (becos he missed remedial class) and began showing signs of anger. He turned over the tables and chairs in class... banged his head against the wall... ran out of the classroom and tried to jump. Thank God the teacher managed to stop him in time and sent him to the school counsellor.

This is not the first time my bro tried to take his life... He tried to cut his wrist when he was in primary school. We kinda concluded that he was emotionally unstable when my mom contracted cancer a couple of years ago but we did not take any serious actions. This time around, after a long talk with the school counsellor and the vice-principal, they suggested bringing him in to a psychiatrist at IMH to receive proper treatment. There were talks about asking him to shift back to Bukit Panjang or even transferring school.. but i think my parents are quite persistent in having him stay there. However, i think it's good that he stays in his school because of all the friends that he has already made and that he has a counsellor in his school who understands his problems.

1. He has been attending church with my parents since young. Pray that he'll come to know God in a personal and intimate way.. not just knowledge of HIM but knowing HIM as our Father.
2. He has been staying in Bukit panjang with my grandparents, now that he has shifted back to Pasir Ris with my parents. Pray that he'll be able to cope living in a new environment.
3. Pray that he will be able to adjust into the secondary school setting with much ease.
4. Pray that he'll be more open to share his problems and his burdens with the people around him... hopefully ultimately he'll turn to God for his problems he face in his life.
5. Pray that my family will be understanding and to be able support him emotionally.
6. As he'll be receiving treatment at IMH soon, pray that he will be able to learn to handle his problems in a proper manner. Also pray that i'll be able to be responsible in bringing his for his appointments.

I trust that the Lord has not forsaken us nor forgotten us. "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." (John 13:7) Indeed, there may be many unfortunate events in our lives but i've learnt not to question the Lord in times as such. But to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding... (Prov 3:5) HE is our sovereign Lord and HE has the best plans for us... I'm fully convinced that HE is in charge now and forever more.

We might face rejection from men, even from our closest friends, but we'll never be rejected by GOD.

Thanks for all who have been praying... do continue to pray for us.

Good news!!!

2006-01-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

I was back at the hospital again yesterday... more than a year after the accident and half a year after my previous review.

This time, i'm no longer on crutches... no longer looking for my physiotherapist... no longer sitting on the wheelchair provided in the hospital. Hah. The only thing that remains intact is my metal plate. Agrh.

As usual, i waited for nearly 2 hours before i got to see my doctor for 10 mins. But reading seems to help time pass faster... hee.

OH YAH. The nurses never seem to get my name correct! Can't believe that... Why must they read my super awful chinese name instead of "Christina"??? They get it wrong like 99% of the time lor. It's super embarrassing... Having my name called out WRONGLY in front of so many people... and normally they'll call out for more than once (louder each time) because i take some time to register that they're calling me.

"SO WHAT DID THE DOC SAY?" in his funny HK accent... (i'll re-enact the scene.)

Doc: Oh hi Christina, how long has it been since i last saw you?
Me: Errr. I don't remember. Last year?
Doc: Of course it's last year... 2006 just started! Ah. Let me check... (flips through my medical record) It has been 6 months i see.
Me: Really? hmm. ok...
Doc: So how have you been?
Me: Ok.
Doc: Er. How's your leg?
Me: It's ok.
Doc: Any pain or feeling uncomfortable?
Me: Nope.
Doc: Alright, so all is okay i see.
Me: Yup.
Doc: Do you want to take out your metal plate?
Me: You mean i can keep it in?
Doc: Yup, you can have it for life if you want.
Me: Er... but can i play sports even if i have the metal plate in me?
Doc: Sure. (I couldn't stop smiling from this moment on...) But there will be a certain risk... there is a possibility of the your bones breaking above the metal plate if you exert too much on it. (WHAT? I was like super disappointed lah.)
Me: So can i still play sports?
Doc: Yup. But be careful.
Me: So i can play sports right?
Doc: Yah.
Me: Any sports? Soccer can?
Doc: Yup.
Me: Badminton? Basketball?
Doc: Yes you can...
Me: Alright. I'll take that.
Doc: It seems like your bones are quite weak... it'll be good if you can consume more calcium. You can drink more milk or even take calcium pills...
Me: Okay...
Doc: So you go back and think about it... whether you want to remove the metal plate or not. But either choice, it won't be so soon because it's still not time yet. You have to keep it with you for another year or so. I won't be around next year so if you want, you can ask another doctor to remove the plate for you. But if you want me to do it, you've to wait till i come back in Sept next year. So you better not break anymore bones in the meantime, i won't be here!
Me: Haha. I better be good and wait for you then.
Doc: Haha. Ok, any more questions?
Me: Oh yah. I need an MC.
Doc: You have school so late?
Me: Yah. I've a test at 6 and it's 5 mins to 6 already.
Doc: Aha. How dare you make use of me?
Me: Hee.. i'm not.

Conclusion after the visit: FINALLY, I CAN OFFICIALLY PLAY SPORTS AGAIN! YEAH!!!

Back in choir

2006-01-07T00:29:00.000+08:00

Yup. I'm officially back in choir... which means no more pool sessions on friday nights... no more jamming after yf... no more staying out late on saturday nights... but it's okay. I'm doing this for God. As much as i will miss doing all the stuff that the youths do together after yf, this is a service which requires a teenie meenie sacrifice. Compared to Christ's sacrifice for us, mine is nothing at all.

Sometimes i'm just paranoid, fellowship and service are all important aspects of a christian's life but somehow fellowship does not weigh as important as service. The fact is that i love singing... a lot actually. I can just sing non-stop, regardless of what i'm doing... and if i'm able to glorify God while doing the thing i enjoy a lot, better still! The thing is, i want to serve Him, wherever He place me.

Somehow i feel a little inadequate or rather, missing out in the youth fellowship... it's not that i miss out on the activites.. i'm not. i do attend YF, i do serve in the music ministry in YF, i do have a "JOY"ous group where i belong to BUT it's only for one day of the week. AND i'm not even spending the time that i should. Most of the time i just come, sometimes sing, then off for choir practice i go. I want to just stay around with them, catch up with what happened throughout the long week etc. or at least have a nice dinner...

HOWEVER. I'm trusting that He has the best plan for me and it's all in His hands. All i have to do is stop worrying and trust in Him.

2006

2006-01-01T17:52:00.000+08:00

It's a new year again.

Time to rethink stuff and to think about new resolutions.

EOY

2005-12-31T15:39:00.000+08:00

This year passed by really quickly... of course it doesn't help when i was stuck at home for the first half of the year. It seems that i was only 18 for half a year. Thought i would wreck havoc and do everything i wasn't allowed to do when i'm legally 18 but it doesn't really make any difference. I don't smoke, drink or have the ability to go learn driving... probably the ONLY difference is that i can watch M18 legally - which is stupid because i can watch R21 films in class. Actually apart of thinking of all the things i CAN do... maybe i should think of the things i SHOULD do. I'm no longer a kid as much as i want to be one. Time to grow up and do the things i should do.

Looking back at 2005, i would say that it was quite an eventful year... although i was immobilised at home for the first half of the year, it was a time where i had time all to myself... doing many different stuff, learning new lessons each day. It was also then when i could so feel the warmth, care and concern from people... coming down so often to accompany me... spending their precious time with me. THANK YOU!

As much as i hate being stuck at home... it was also because of that that i was able to go to thailand for the mission trip in june! Ok... i'm not going to start talking about mission trip at this point if not this would be a super duper ultra extra long post. HAH. So... yah. God has taught me a lot of precious lessons during the trip... made new friends and got to know 'old' friends better during the trip too!

Lots more to say... maybe a little later. Gonna go out now...

Random Shots Part III

2005-12-31T03:09:00.000+08:00

I'm taking photography this semester... It's one of the more 'relax' module i would say. Can take picture as and when you like - before the deadline that is. As much as i like the subject, the cost is rather overwhelming siah. Film, processing etc... all these cost money. All because i'm using a SLR. Every picture i take, i've to consider whether it's worth it or not. It's so different from using a digital camera where you can just take as much as you want and simply delete the unwanted ones away later... if you have taken a bad shot, you'll know it straight away and can take another one immediately... you can also transfer what you have taken directly into your computer... no processing = no payment.

As much as i'm complaining.. SLR is still the best. Once you've used an SLR, a digital camera is like nothing lah. The digital camera becomes a .... gadget you use for leisure, for fun. No serious stuff... it's just not as good. No control over shutter speed, aperture, lens choice, focus...

Now, that's when the digital SLR comes onto the stage! You can have the best of both worlds! I'm so going to get a digital SLR for myself when i start earning money... haha. Alright, before i can actually do that, here are some pictures i took using a Nikon F55...

I was telling myself that i'll be a wedding photographer if i can't make it in the film industry lah. It's so cool. I think that women are the prettiest when they are brides. Blessedness, joy, love are all written on their faces... heh. I took 2 pretty pretty pictures of the couple that day... BUT the santuary was not giving me enough light so i had to lower the shutter speed. BAD MOVE. I managed to hold my breath but i forgot that the couple was walking when i was taking the picture... their faces are all blurred. If not, it would have been perfect shots man.

The botak tree outside blk 52/53... I was supposed to take silhouette. I quite like taking silhouette leh... there's this sense of mystery. You see it yet you don't see it.

The tree outside shell station. When i first saw the picture, i thought it looks like a fake tree. hah. Anyways, i used a wide lens and went super near the tree... so there's a distortion at the bottom of the tree and at the same time, there's room for the branches and leaves.

In the cab to school.. wanted to take the reflection of the taxi driver through the rear mirror. But he saw me take my camera out and before i could do anything, he started a conversation about the media industry. He started by saying how bright my future is... how many job opportunities i'll have when i graduated... to how much money i'll earn... to how i cannot forget him when i make it big one day... HAHA. I can't even remember how he looks like. Took a super fast shot when he was not looking... thought it'd turn out blur but apparently not. heh. But this isn't the effect i wanted... oh wells.

Perfect example of a vital moment. Just as the sun shone from behind the church building... teehee. I quite like this picture actually. It's a half silhouette... The framing of main object in the centre is like signifying the church as the main body. The cross in the middle of the building represent Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to redeem the sins of all man, as the centre of Christians' lives. The sunlight signifies Christ and His followers being light of the world. Hmmm. I just came up with this from the top of my head lah... do discuss with me if you think there's something wrong. :)

I seriously don't remember taking this picture lor.... or rather i don't remember taking such a nice picture of h. bleah. Colour is good and her expression is perfecto! The subject is very clear also... we can see that she's leaning on to someone but we can't really see who (though i think most of us know it's grace). Well, you get my point..

Blessed Christmas

2005-12-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

I'm at home alone now... such a weird feeling. heh. I've always spent my Christmas in my granny's house with everyone... Counting down together with my cousins.. singing with the carollers that would make their way to granny's house in the middle of the night.

This is the first Christmas I'm not spending with them... first Christmas I'm spending in Glory... first Christmas I'm counting down alone at home... first time I attended the Christmas concert in Glory... first Christmas I haven't gone to Orchard road to admire the lightings and decorations... first time I'm blogging on Christmas night... first time I'm not going to any parties... It's different and feels like something's amiss. Like it's not Christmas at all.

But what IS Christmas?

Is it just turkey, ham, roast beef, wine, Christmas carols, parties, stayovers, count downs etc.? I don't have all of the above but I'm still enjoying every bit of this special occasion. A quiet and peaceful night gives me time to reflect and ponder on the true meaning of Christmas... how Jesus was born this night more than 2000 years ago... how a Saviour was born into this lost world... how our Messiah was born in a lowly manger. All because of God's amazing grace to redeem us of our sins.... to save us that we may have eternal life through the Son.

Last Christmas, at this time, I was still in the hospital... spending Christmas' eve all by myself.
It was really depressing man... It was like... what a place to spend this occasion. Thank God Karen came to spend some time with me before the clock struck twelve... But I was thinking of all the places I should be at... having a gathering at h's house with the rest of the people I enjoy being with... should have gone to church for the concert.... should have sung as part of the choir in the concert... should have gone carolling for the very first time of my life...

Should have this. Should have that. Should haves... I'm starting to find this phrase really redundant and useless. What's already done cannot be undone. Whatever had happened happen for a reason. What's the point of saying "should have"? Instead of looking, wondering at what "should have" happened... we should make use of what we have, what we are given and make the best out of it.

Yes, I should have done this and that tonight. But now, I'm just gonna make use of this time to quieten my heart and reflect... since I'm given the time and the peace! hah.

That is so unlike me.. but I'm liking the change. Having a truly blessed Christmas.

Pray that you'll have a blessed Christmas too.

Oops i did it again...

2005-12-20T17:59:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I updated my blog... I'm not here to evalute why and how. Anyways I'm going to update this very moment.

I injured my hand during YF camp 2005.. I know this is the N times I've injured myself BUT hey... I don't want it to happen either. It's so not fun can. So many things I can't do... all the things that I enjoyed doing very much... except sleeping and eating I think.

Everything happened so suddenly... we were all playing tug of war in camp and my group - JOHN was on a winning strike. I was ready to give my all to win that for my team... Out of determination to win, I twined the rope around my hand and competed against the last team in the finals. I did that too in previous matches and it worked well... that caused us to win. The last team was really strong siah.. we had an advantage initially and josh who is a pessimist said, "we're winning!" I was really pulling the rope with all my might but something very unfortunate happened... somehow someone in my team lost his foothold and we were pulled forward by a little. It was then when we were losing... and hey. rememeber I twined the rope around my hand? It was pulled along with the rope forward when we lost... I thought I was going to lose my hand at that point of time man. Then I took off my gloves and see my red and swollen hand. It was so painful that I don't feel much pain.. so ironic. It was just beyond... agrh. don't how to say. People who know me will know that my threshold of pain is quite low... I would scream and cry when i'm hurt... I just can't tahan pain. But this time, weirdly, I didn't.

I thought it was okay so I didn't ask for help immediately... after that I playfully showed someone my 'pig trotters' and then i was called to receive medical attention... hah. They had no ice so they gave me cold milo to cool it... got to drink it after that! : )

I seriously thought it was just a sprain... at least because it wasn't as painful when i broke my ankle... then i went on to play the games (supreme captainball, extreme foosball and operation: beseige) with JOHN. Yes, i know i shouldn't do this... I'm sooooo going to be nagged at. However, I really need to be there for my team. My team is one with very low self-efficacy. They need to be pushed and encouraged constantly. It was just the first day... I can't leave them on their own.

And so... it was swollen for the next few days... sometimes it gets better, sometimes worse. By evening on that very day, bruises started surfacing... then it was bandaged up. Next morning, my fingers were... brownish, greenish and purplish. EEEEK. and i had to go to school for audio test... thank God, my lecturer gave me extra time to set up the equipments! hee.

On the 3rd day, we had to go out for amazing race.. so it was no bandage and no sling... managed to survive the whole thing! woohoo. (will update about the exciting camp in a separate entry... quite confusing. I shall just concentrate on my hand here...) When we went back to YISS, viv put me in a sling... it's kinda funny cos the sling is all the way up as it's holding my hand up on my shoulders.. but it helped. It was less swollen at the end of the day.

On that very night, with my less-swollen hand, we played ultimate frisbee!!! It was super fun siah. I cooped well with my other hand. (thank God i hurt my left hand, not my right!) I'm so tempted to say what happened on the last night... but i hafta save it for the camp entry!!! haha.

Alright, and so i survived so many days without seeing the doc... don't ask me why. BUT anyhoosies, i finally went to see the doc after so many ppl started calling me up and asking me to go see the doc... scaring me with the gangrene stuff and about losing my whole hand! Ok lah, i was very worried at that point of time. Can't imagine myself with one hand. eeek.

SO WHAT DID THE DOC SAY?

She suspects that there are no broken bones but can't be 100% sure... At least she didn't feel any of my bones shifting around but there's a possiibilty that there might be a hairline fracture or something along that line... After examining the bruises, she concluded that it's caused by busted soft tissues/cells after my hand was squeezed by the rope. Then i asked her about the bruises at my fingers joints... (it's kinda scary.. the joints are brown and the other side of the fingers are green). She said it's because there's serious internal bleeding and it apparently affected several places... wrist, plam, fingers etc. Advised me to elevate my hand in a sling for these few days... and if the swelling doesn't subside within these few days, i'll have to go for an x-ray.

Really hope that it won't be anything too serious... I want my Christmas this year! can't miss 2 Christmases in a row!

Do pray for me... thank you all who have been praying for me, asking after me, caring for me!

Baby Liyi

2005-11-26T09:12:00.000+08:00

"Hi everyone! My name is Liyi."

"As you can see, I've very BIG eyes..."

"Did anyone call me? I thought I heard my name."

"Oh. You were just playing with me... Don't look at you leh."

"That's exciting!

How come sometimes can see your face, sometimes cannot?"

"Wah... You mean a monkey look like that? That's scary..."

"But it's quite funny when your tongue sticks out like that!!"

"Heehee... I like..."

"But something's wrong...

why is this jie jie always pointing this thing at me?"

"MUMMMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

finally... yeah!

2005-11-22T02:42:00.000+08:00

I'm tired.

I'm sleepy.

I'm hungry.

I'm cranky.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY...

I'm done!!!! yeah!

Journal One done. more to come...

AGRH!!!

2005-11-17T00:27:00.000+08:00

has blogging lost its meaning? it has become a chore to update recently. sigh. i'm either too busy, too tired or simply having nothing to blog about...

my life now revolves around school... nothing else but school. does that explain why i've nothing to blog about? agrh. SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL. it hasn't been great i must say... but well. what do i know? 3rd week into new semester, assignments and projects are already piling up... i'm still not in it yet. i'm so dead.

everything is screwing up... i'm part of that everything.

if only i can sleep and never wake up...

2005-11-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

Whenever I feel down

When everything seems lost

Such times I feel I just can't go on anymore

I remind myself of Him

He who can take away my cares

Jesus, thanks for the faith I now have in You Lord

Now I sing about Your grace

I sing about Your love

I sing about the wonderful things You have done

I sing about my life

The life that You paid the price for

I sing about the faith I now have in You Lord

You have been faithful in all of Your ways

Though we may not understand why

We go through life this way

But we know what it's like to be by Your side

Teach us Lord, to be like You, to be so faithful and true

I know that on my own I cannot stand

But when I worship Him

He fills me with a song

Of the love He has for me now and forever

For this I trust Him Lord of all

I thank You for Your grace

I thank You for Your love

I thank You for the wonderful things You have done

I thank You for my life

The life that You paid the price for

I thank You for the faith I now have in You Lord

You have been faithful in all of Your ways
Though we may not understand why
We go through life this way
But we know what it's like to be by Your side
Teach us Lord, to be like You, to be so faithful and true

SOOOOO lucky.

2005-11-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

I was having lunch with a. jaey at the market... we were talking... eating... drinking...

ALL OF A SUDDEN.

I felt something on my head... I tried to flick it away... WOOOO. Bad move. It was...

BIRD'S DROPPINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wah lau. Of all places... Of all people... Of all parts of my body... My hair.

Ran down to the toilet and washed my hair... Eeeeek. My "hatest" animal doing one of the most disgusting act. YUCKS.

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?

2005-11-10T22:47:00.000+08:00

My best friend sent me this via email... worth a read.

1. Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping?

2. Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?

3. Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying, but you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend?

4. Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages ofa popular novel or ZANE GREY book?

5. Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games, but they do whatever is possible to sit at the lastrow in Church?

6. Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for Church 2-3 weeks before the day so we can include it in our agenda, but we can adjust it for other events at the last minute?

7. Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a fact about God to share it with others, but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?

8. Isn't it strange how we believe everything that magazines and newspapers say, but we question the words in the Bible?

9. Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven, but they don't want to believe, do, or say Anything to get there.

10. Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away, but when we are going to send messages about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?

Cultural Shock

2005-11-09T23:33:00.000+08:00

"Are you in year one or year two now?"

"Errr. Tough question. I don't know."

That has been the typical conversation with my lecturer in school this week...

So many times, I feel lost and out of place... I'm neither here nor there now. I don't know anyone in class except my lecturer. That is a really bad feeling. I hate being alone. Classmates from the previous semester were great... I was glad that I managed to settle in with much ease. BUT NOW. A whole new class... and they are not as opened/friendly as my previous class.

Am I experiencing a cultural shock?

I learnt this in CUCOM tutorial this afternoon... It is not just something one will experience when one goes overseas, you can experience cultural shock here too. Judging from what I learnt today... I might be. But anyhow, I also learnt that one will experience cultural shock in stages... and it's often in a form of a 'W' so it'll get better at the end of it all! I sure pray it'll get better real soon...

Cultural Shock myth: Cultural shocks DON'T come as a shock. As in not the "Oh! I'm shocked" kind. You won't even know you're experiencing it most of the time.

Always feel drained at the end of the day... My revised timetable is pure madness. (compared to last semester - ECE students don't come show me your TT. It's just different.)

MONDAY: 8-6pm (Lecture day)
TUESDAY: 9-4pm (Tutorial day)
WEDNESDAY: 1-5pm (IS day) by the way, it's 4 hours straight of CUCOM
THURSDAY: 9-4pm (Workshop day)
FRIDAY: 9-12pm (CG day) This break comes a little too late, it's end of the week anyway! Ugh.

This is only the second week of school but it feels like I'm two months into this already. Today is only wednesday but I feel as though I've fought a battle. Time seems to be crawling again. No. This only happens on weekdays... Time seems to be sprinting on weekends.

Ok. I think I'm really experiencing a cultural shock. But KNOW WHAT? One of the ways to overcome it is to tell others about it: blog about it or write others an email. That's exactly what I'm doing... Hee.

Alrighty, I'm sleepy...needa go sleep soon. BUT I'm suppose to do Social Psychology Journal One! ARRRRRRGH. BUT I can barely see what I'm typing now! BUT I'm supposed to do writcom wow assignment! BUT I have school at 9 tomorrow! NO BUTS. I've a battle to fight tomorrow again. I need to replenish enough to last the whole day. I haven't felt tired at this time for a long time.

Study, study and study...

2005-11-05T18:51:00.000+08:00

I'm STUDYING. What a revelation. I'm the sort who will study at the very last minute before tests or exams... but now, there's only a quiz due next week. I can't believe I'm studying for it NOW! I've been studying since noon (not long after I woke up...). But this feels good man. To be doing something instead of slacking my time away...

Topic: Intercultural Communication

Cultural Definition - "... the collective programming of the mind which distinguishes the members of one group from another." Geert Hofstede

"Culture hides more than it reveals and strangely enough what it hides, it hides most effectively from its participants" Edward Hall

5 characteristics of all culturals -
1) Cultural is not innate, it is learnt.
2) It is transmitted from generation to generation.
3) Culture is based on symbols.
4) Culture is subject to change.
5) Culture is ethnocentric.

And it goes on and on... there are so many things that I need to cover by next wednesday! But I'm loving it. Never thought that intercultural communication is so exciting and interesting... I'm seeing how I can apply this in future.

Totally RANDOM

2005-11-02T01:07:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. In any way you can think of... physically. mentally. spiritually. whatever. I'm just tired. (I forsee a super random ranting session here... BEWARE. Read at your own risk.)

I'll understand when I grow up. HAH. I thought that only existed in the movies. Didn't know that applies even in this day... I don't know what will become of me when I do grow up. Will I be faithful or astrayed? healthy or sickly? famous or unknown? rich or poor? contented or depressed? I don't know. No one will do until the time is here except Him... I've plans. But His plans are higher than my plans. That's a fact.

I don't understand. Sometimes I just can't. No matter how hard I try... Why can't I do this? Why can't I do that? What's wrong with me saying this? What's wrong with me doing that? WHY?

I'm always doing foolish stuff. Stupid stuff like running after someone and getting myself injured. I caused my life to stop for half a year. Screwing up my 18. Leaving a BIG mess in school. How much more stupid can I get? Felt like I stopped living in this world for a few months. All this felt like a nightmare. Only worse. At least I could wake up from a nightmare.

School has just started and it sucked already. A whole new set of classmates. AGAIN. When will this end? Guess it will never.

I need strength and courage. God, help me. Assure me that this mess in my life happened for a reason and I just have to trust You and follow You day by day. It's no use complaining or grumbling. I'll just make my own life more miserable. Lord, You know me best. Better than I know myself. Thank You for this assurance. Only with Your strength that I can do all these. Amen.

Am I what I'm supposed to be?

SS Music Sunday

2005-10-24T14:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday is gone. Music Sunday is over. Can't help but feel a little relieved.

It was a pretty stressful morning... having to wake up early didn't really help - had barely 3 hours of sleep... Was busy adding in the subtitles to "Copi-o Gau No Enough" because of the headachy audio... Then I had to run to church (not all the way of cos...) because I was running late. Oh well. Managed to reach right before praise and worship segment that Em led ended. Maybe I shouldn't have ran so fast... The screening was rather good I thought. Not sure if the audience understood the cinematography but... it doesn't really matter, does it?

Then it was time to meet for the final preparations for Music Sunday. Ran through everything one last time and we were good to go. My voice sounded weird. Couldn't reach the high notes as well. Cause: lack of sleep + didn't warm up during service + "pris" 'n' chips after-effects? AGRH. Thank God I had Joan and Beni to back me up in praise and worship and our song item respectively. I was super nervous can. Butterflies in my stomach. TOO MANY PPL. Plus that was supposed to be evaluation after the workshop with j... Gosh. Half way through the whole thing I felt like I needed to go to the restroom.

Personally I was very pleased with the band's performance (as in 表现-biao xian, NOT 表演-biao yan), they were great. And I think the whole programme went on rather smoothly EXCEPT for the closing song. I'm soooo sorry. It's my fault. My mind blanked out for a short while.

After the whole thing was over, many came to encourage me, sang praises and thank me. I so do not deserve all these. It's the Lord's doing. I didn't do anything. I only made a blunder in the closing song. (-__-") Anyhow, I'm super thankful to them for always encouraging and appreciating. It feels great leading His people to sing prasies to Him in one voice. Amen.

HMM. Had headache and puked again. Think it happens pretty often. Is it normal? Maybe I have a tumour in my brain... I won't be surprised if I really do. Think I'm getting more idiotic each day.

Kitty Invasion!

2005-10-19T19:32:00.000+08:00

One and a half more hours before I can finally leave this place...
Bro came visit in the afternoon... at least there's someone here to keep me company for a few hours. hee.

I've got another visitor now... a petite but really violent one.

A LOST KITTEN. This setting did not make the situation better. Thousands of people walking to and fro... pop songs blasting away at the DJ station... the faulty photo-printing machine at the other corner that kept saying "select option... select option... select option... select option..."

Little kitty came running in front of my stall, scaring screaming women in short skirts and heels. Dashing in the speed of light, a rodent I thought it was. It longs to go back to where it came from. This place is not meant for a kitten. It does not belong here. Running round and round the gigantic fountain umpteen times, it still can't find its way out this enormous mall. All it sees is glass doors that surrounds... keeping it from going out into the world. Frantically searching for a way out but it sees no open door. Or rather it didn't even know where the open door is. Someone tries to help and bring it out but it struggles to break free, hurting the guy in the end. His hand is now covered with blood, the ground is blood-stained. The lost kitten is now hiding in a corner beside my stall, meowing away. Several times, people come and offer to help but it scares them away with a "roar". I feel helpless everytime it meows.

HEY KITTY. I CAN'T HELP YOU WHEN YOU REFUSE TO BE HELPED. SORRY.

There is a puddle of walking under the cat. It peed. It's trembling in fear. I spoke to it in all the languages I could think of asking it to leave by the exit right on the other side of my stall. I even tried meowing to it. It's no use. It won't listen or shall I just assume that it doesn't understand...

I know I'm a little impossible to be able to connect this two issues together BUT well, this kitten's situation is like that of a backslided christian.

Somehow, christians who have backslided are like the kitten... this mall is like the ways of this world, the sinful human nature... the world outside is where we will be with God and have an intimate relationship with Him... the people helping it are like people like our mentors, pastors, teachers or even God Himself.

They long to go back to where they once were... close to God, sharing a relationship with Him, being at the center of His will. Like how this kitten is longing to go back outside.

Everyday, they live their lives not knowing where they're heading... they know they are seeking for something that's missing in their lives. But where exactly is it?

Sometimes, when people want to help and guide them, they just shoo them away in arrogance. Screaming a lie out loud, "Don't touch me! Leave me alone! I'm not lost!" There are times when they hurt the people who want to help them as well and soon, no one would bother anymore.

They constantly seek for that "open door" when it's actually wide open. Why do they fail to see?

In the end, they hide in that corner and lament on why they can't go back to their first love. They run away when confronted, and just refuses to be helped.

to be continued...

No update.

2005-10-16T02:38:00.000+08:00

LAZINESS IS THE CAUSE OF IT ALL.

Anyhoosies.

Yesterday was the recording day for "Copi-o Gau No Enough". It went on pretty well, with a proper script I wrote over a few days... having good actors helped quite a fair bit too. Thank God we managed to work out the schedules so that we can finish it all within that few hours before YF.

We shot in the market... we were so blessed for having no lunch crowd when we were there! wow.

Anyhoosies.

Those who go to the market quite often with me will know that there's this cleaning lady I'm super afraid of... She is like having PMS everyday lah. Super "buay song" when she works... After my first bad encounter with her, I would try to avoid her whenever I go to the market... I wouldn't want to cross her path man.

Still remember there was once when I asked her to clear and clean the table for us, she came with that "black" face and very unwillingly cleared the table then she swept some dunno-what on me! She should be thankful I'm not the kind of person who will kick up a big fuss... if not.

On another occasion, I was sitting at the table waiting for the others to come back after ordering their food... then when I got out of my seat to go and place my order, she was clearing the table right behind me! There wasn't much space between the seats with 2 people standing there so I waited. After a while, I concluded that she will not finish clearing the table as fast as I make my way through... so I walked sideways and I was already on my way out. She just had to turn around at this point of time! gosh. I stepped right onto a land mine! Nearly banged into her... and she was scolding me without words. Hmmm. I can tell she's scolding me even though there weren't any specific words of condemnation. *Speaking from experience*

That's it. After that, whenever I go to the market, I will look out for her... just to make sure I won't get in her way.

However.

After some time, we came to a conclusion that she is deaf and she can't speak. No wonder. Alright. My suspicion has been proven true. I saw her when she was off-duty. She looks happier than when she is not working. Her colleagues were trying to speak to her by inventing new signs that all will understand. I wished I could talk to her. I wished she wasn't so fierce.

Somehow.

On that very same day when we had some problems with the drink stall uncle because of some ridiculous misunderstanding, she was the one who was told to come and clear our tables. It just had to be her. After clearing our cups away, she kinda signalled to us that the man want us to leave... it was then when I finally plucked up my courage to sign to her. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I just needed that platform for that first conversation to take place.

Anyhoosies.

I saw her again when we were shooting... She was coming to clear our table and I signed a simple "Thank you" to her. All of a sudden, she smiled and 'said', "AH, you were the one talking to me the other day! No wonder you look so familiar!" Then she asked how i know sign language... before I realised, we were engaging in a conversation! She was asking what we were doing... what it's for... I was really glad that I managed to talk to her.

I look forward to seeing her again.

I pray that one day I would able to testify to her.

hiccups

2005-10-10T17:07:00.000+08:00

Definition - "A spasm of the diaphragm resulting in a rapid, involuntary inhalation that is stopped by the sudden closure of the glottis and accompanied by a sharp, distinctive sound."

I think I'm scaring my customers away. Not that they are any in the first place. Dang.

There are numerous wireless internet access here where I work! wooohooo. Tapping from N-Y-D-C... It ease my pain a little.

*hiccups*

2005-10-08T03:58:00.000+08:00

WHAT AM I DOING AT THIS HOUR OF THE DAY?

"I CAN'T sleep!"

I'm at it again. Once in a while, I will feel like this...

"I WANT TO PLAY SPORTS!"

I think I will lose touch in all those sports I used to play... or even lose all ball sense that I was once proud of. Like how I can't play pool anymore now... Can't imagine what it would be like when I finally get to play badminton or tennis...

AAAAGRRRRRRRH.

Soccer. Badminton. Tennis. Touch Rubgy. Volleyball.
Table Tennis. Captain Ball. Squash. Inline Skating. Floorball.
Netball. Ultimate Frisbee. Basketball. Softball. etc...

What if one day I lose my voice? Can't speak nor sing? Wouldn't I be MORE miserable?

Alrights. I should shut my mouth.

"STOP Complaining!"

I want to believe that ALL that happened happen for a purpose.
God's purpose.

It did.

I feel a little better now.

Semi Colon

2005-10-08T01:16:00.000+08:00

It's dysfunctional.

I don't know why it just refuses to be pressed. Maybe hafta send it to somewhere to have it fixed. Sigh. Could there be a dead bug there that's blocking the key??? Eeeew... Shouldn't think too much.

But hey... Thank God it isn't some key I needa use often - like some letters or the numbers or even ENTER!

counting...

2005-10-07T01:06:00.000+08:00

more than 1,000 people. they walk past my stall everyday. so what?

128 pages. i had time to finish one entire comic book.

88 dollars. who would buy???

27 potential customers. of which one is from STB... hah.

19 direction seekers. it's confirmed. i look like a directory.

11 hours. boring...

9 pamplets. take and go.

8 times. the cleaner came to clear the dustbin beside my stall.

6 inches. subway dinner!

5 celebrities. adrian pang, xiang yun, "ruan mian mian" and 2 other extras... can't even remember their names.

4 p.m. first auntie anne went home.

3 pretzels. free! almond, raisin and cheese.

2 for the price of 1. NZ ice cream from 12.30pm-2.30pm.

1 visitor. candice. hee.

0 m-e-r-l-i-o-n sold. what's new?

The Moment of Truth

2005-10-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

Viola.

Art and Design: AD
Individual and the Community: A
Creativity and Applied Thinking Skills: AD
Audio Technology: F
Studio Production: B
Introduction to Film: B+

Shucks. Failed Audio. Hafta retake next sem. sigh. I've no more time to waste!

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.

2 distinctions. I wouldn't have been able to achieve this with my own strength.

Thank You Father.

Boredom.

2005-10-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

How boring can it get?

I'm super duper bored can.

Spent 11 hours doing practically... NOTHING. Almost felt asleep while tending the shop... agrh.

This should be the most boring part-time job anyone can get. And I got it. wow.

How can I ever find joy in this job? The only thing I look forward to now are the free pretzels I get after a long day's work...

Another long day awaits. Pretzels, wait for me!

Supper anyone?

2005-10-04T01:23:00.000+08:00

I was already preparing to sleep... then I smelt something burnt.

Out of curiosity, I went to the kitchen to take a peep. Thinking there might be supper...

Guess what?

My GGGrandma's frying her money she picked up from the washing machine.

Something's wrong with her lately.

She'll be going over to her daughter's house to stay for a couple of days...

Short break away from her. again. YEAH. No more money for supper.

first day of work

2005-10-03T23:21:00.000+08:00

I was having monday blues when I woke up in the morning... was still feeling a little sick but I had to go anyway. sigh.

I'm selling the M-e-r-l-i-o-n-3-8 at suntec city. Crap. Can't believe I'm doing this. You can come and look for me if you're find your life too interesting... It'll definitely bore you to death.

I was lost when I went to work this morning... hah. Stupid siah. Cos 700A only operate in the evening on weekdays... and 700 doesn't bring me to the convention centre. My attempt of trying to get me there with minimum walking distance failed.

Sold my first M-e-r-l-i-o-n-3-8 in the first 2 hours of work... to an American. I didn't spend a long time persuading actually... I just played him a song and he was like.. "Awesome! I'll get one." He didn't even frown when I told him the price. Wooohooo! SOLD.

My new campanion at work... A-u-n-t-i-e A-n-n-e-'s!

I got free pretzels from her! woohoo!

The pastries are constantly telling me... "Come eat me... come eat me..." *groan*

Here are my other companions...

I think I look like a directory. More people approach me for directions than coming to look at the stuff I'm selling.

One of the more memorable encounter... 3 Thai ladies tried hard to explain to me that they were lost in English... I decided to reply in Thai. They were super surprised and they started going on and on about how they got lost. I helped them called their friend and they finally found each other. *smiles* I felt really good after that. Helping someone with a new language I'm learning... cool.

After I sold my first M-e-r-l-i-o-n, time stopped. Each minute is like an hour... Each hour like a day... Finally understand what it means to "du ri ru nian" siah.

Just came home and I feel sick again. Puked.

Pretzels and lemonade in the toilet bowl.

The Difference

2005-09-30T22:36:00.001+08:00

I got up early one morning
and rushed right into the day.
I had so much to accomplish
that I didn't have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me
and heavier came each task.
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered;
He answered, "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty
but the day toiled on, grey and bleak.
I wondered why God didn't shown me,
He said, "But you didn't seek."

I tried to come into God's presence,
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided
"My child, you didn't knock."

I woke early this morning
and paused before entering the day.
I had so much to accomplish
that I had to take time to pray.

Happy Birthday.....

2005-09-29T00:09:00.000+08:00

dearest MICHELLE !

Have a blessed birthday yah... You've been the greatest teacher and you probably still are... in another context that is. Hee. Thank you so much. There are just too many things to thank you for seriously... I don't even know where to start! Gee. Ms Goh! hahahah. It's so amazing... Thank you for your care and love... and for never giving up on me. teehee.

Anyways, hope you like the little something that we put together for you... Those are memories that would hopefully last for a lifetime.

Oh yah. This is my 100th post ever since I started blogging... have always thought about what I should blog about when this day arrives. Now you see this... in honour of this very special person. heh.

M, You're really treasured. Love ya... *aaahhhh*

Shan't go on any longer... hah. Stay tuned for more in your card lah. :))

Random Shots (Part 2)

2005-09-28T23:57:00.000+08:00

My favourite photography subject - SKY! (Angie: just in case you wanna tease me, it's NOT that korean guy...)

It might be the same sky we're looking at everyday, but somehow, it will NEVER be the same.

I thought I was going to go blind looking straight at the sun... instead I was rewarded by this picture... (Kids out there: I'm not suggesting that you should look straight at the sun like I did ah...) Hee.

Wheee.... I'm on top of the world! oh.. nah. Just on top of sentosa...

Don't run away... Errrr. Nice butt by the way.

Random Shots (Part 1)

2005-09-27T03:00:00.000+08:00

Felt like photo blogging all of a sudden... It's just some random pictures. There's no chronological order or whatsoever.

This jump shot (no, no.. not the kind of jump shots you see in bad movies... this has got absolutely nothing to do with the connections between shots in films!) is my personal favourite amongst the many photos we took in our school's library that day... This is for the sake of our art project - I'm aiming for AD (Distinction) *all smiles*

p.s. This is the Xth time we jumped... we took a pretty long time to figure out the right time to execute the jump. There's no photographer by the way.

The director getting a lil impatient and frustrated... can't remember over what.

Looking through the viewfinder of the coolest kinda cam... just to make sure that everything is okay...

This is put together by all my classmates in art class in my first semester in NP... Can you guess which is the part I drew?

A 9 ball game anyone? Used to play quite often... but not anymore after my injury. The comeback attempt the other day was a total flop.

Decided that I should take pictures wherever I go...
I'm going to start outdoor shooting tomorrow before BS. yooohoo!

Look out for more photos...

Glory be to God!

2005-09-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

Amen!

This year's Parents' Appreciation Nite went great... really thank God for answering our prayers.

It was an evening filled with laughter and tears... acting and singing... giving and receiving... appreciating and understanding... thanking and apologising... loving and caring...

I was really touched by all the performances that the youths have put up... they have selflessly put in a lot of effort and time into making the whole event a success.

As I watched the video... the things that the youths say to the parents... Tears welled up in my eyes. The thing we normally say are so often not the things we really mean... (that's why our group - JOY did an item along that line... "what we really mean"! hah.)

When they showed the clip of parents saying words of encouragement to their child(ren)... I was super touched. They might be busy all the time... They might not understand the things we do... They might not approve certain habits of ours... But they truly love us.

We do have to reflect. When you say things like... "Tell you, you also won't understand..." Have you actually tried explaining? Most of the time, we don't even give them a chance to understand. When you say things like... "Can you not interfere with my life..." Can you imagine how much it hurts them? They were the ones who gave you life (literally)... who have brought you up and have provided for all your needs... Would you have survived up till this day if not for them?

Think again the next time you are tempted to say such things...

God was really with us throughout the entire event... He has so graciously guided us and let everything fall into place perfectly. I was so amazed that we ended at 730pm (as scheduled) on the dot. Amen! This wouldn't be possible without Him with us... no matter how man can plan, God is indeed the ultimate planner.

Through this night, God was teaching me to not worry too much. Normally, I would be sooo stressed with the little details like "who's offing the lights later?"... "can i remember the lines?"... "will i sing out of tune?"... "will i forgot what i'm suppose to do?"... these kind of stuff. I get tummy upset when I'm super stressed. It's not a good feeling... I'll not be able to do what I'm supposed to do well. However, this time round, I committed everything unto Him. I have asked in His name and have received His blessings and my joy is complete. It's in His Word! He promised...

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

Tonight might be a special night when we all show appreciation to our parents... but it should NEVER stop here. Every single day should be a parents appreciation day.

Have you told your dad that you love him lately?

Have you told your mom that you really appreciate everything she does for you lately?

If not, maybe it's time to do so.

Resolutions

2005-09-21T00:48:00.000+08:00

Who says resolutions must be made in the beginning of a new year?

I'm gonna make it right here, right now.
Can't afford to wait till the new year comes...

#1 - I'm going to sleep before 1am each night.
#2 - I'm going to wake up at 9am every morning to do QT.

No compromise this time round.
No excuses.
I'm going to do it... with the strength of the Lord of course.

Pray for me.

Mute

2005-09-21T00:35:00.000+08:00

I'm not a wall. I'll say it again. I'm not a wall.

At least I don't throw words back at you like the wall does.

Whatever.

Lord, help me to speak with wisdom and knowledge. Help me to speak with love. Help me to speak with mercy. Put Your words in my mouth Lord, that I might speak.

Jesus, Lover of my soul

2005-09-20T05:01:00.000+08:00

Jesus, Lover of my soul
Jesus, I will never let You go
You've taken me from the miry clay
You set my feet upon the rock
And now I know

I love You, I need You
Though my world may fall, I'll never let You go
My Saviour, My closest Friend
I will worship You until the very end

Dearest Heavenly Father,
Thank You for giving me life that I might enjoy all things.
Thank You for being the only one true God.
Thank You for making me a new creation.
Thank You for being my Father.
Thank You for providing me with everything.
Thank You for dying for my sins that I might live.
Thank You for loving me.
Thank You for giving me a heart that longs for You.
Thank You for being who You are - The Almighty One.
I have so many things to give thanks for. I'm just so grateful to You Father.
How can it be that You gave Your life to die for my sake on the cross? I do not deserve this O Lord. Only by Your mercy and Your grace that I can stand here and proclaim Your love for me. Lord, I know I am nothing but a sinner. But Lord, You've given us the priviledge to call You Father; to call upon Your Holy Name. I'm sorry Lord, for not being the salt and light of the world as I ought to be. I'm sorry that I haven't been the obedient child as I ought to be. I'm sorry Father, for not putting You first in my life. I'm sorry for sinning against You. I'm sorry for hurting You. Please forgive me Lord, as I bow before You in reverence and in fear. Please take me back to Your side Lord. Bring me back to that place again, where I may enjoy Your presence each day. And Lord, indeed, my world will fall apart without You. Hold me close to You Lord. My life is in Your Hands Lord; mould me, use me, fill me, lead me, send me, walk beside me. Take my life and let it be - do as You please Lord. I love You. I need You. Yes Father, I will worship You until the very end.
In Jesus' Precious Name,
Amen.

There's a full moon arising...

2005-09-18T21:54:00.000+08:00

Didn't know it's mid-autumn festival until I was awoken by the stench of burning incense. It has got to be either the first or the fifteen day of the month.

Every year, on this day... me and my sec sch best friend will meet and play candles and sparkles together. Childish it may seems but we really enjoy doing it. It's fun playing with fire legally outside. Hah. Then we'll just talk till... hmm. my godma calls to ask for my whereabouts. It's like a catching-up session for the both of us too. When the moon is 'yuan', we also 'tuan yuan'. Hee.

This year's mid-autumn festival seems a lil low-key... I don't see big fancy parties being held at he void-deck... I don't see kids going around with lanterns... I don't see children gathering to play with fire... I don't hear those battery-operated lanterns' irritating high pitched music... All I see is mooncake. Oh yah. and the moon...

Know what? In church, we saw the most happening phenomenon. I was searching for the moon the whole night... It just wasn't in sight. Then I saw Sherwood Towers glowing from the breakfast area in the church... I was like.. "Look!" Then all of us turned and we literally saw the full moon rising!!! in like.. 5 mins!!! It's super amazing lor. It's was initially covered by the building, then we could see it rising so quickly until it go right above the building! WOW. Wished I took a picture of it. But it'll be too small anyway.

There's a full moon arising... out of the stormy sea.... oops. sorry. correction: out of the building.

Loster Attack!

2005-09-18T21:50:00.000+08:00

Went to sentosa with my doggies yesterday... Woohoo. We spent the whole day at the beach - swimming... floating... running... super fun!

Toby is super funny lah. He's totally obessed with his soccer ball! I was kicking the ball around on the sand and he was chasing it all around the beach. When I threw the ball in the sea, he simply dived in and went after it. Didn't know he can swim so well now... He's making really good progress.

Little bear bear is getting so big... Don't know why his ears are so huge. eeeek. His buttocks quite big too. agrhhhh. Not as cute as before already. He's got this weird habit... he loves 'eating' sand. He'll start digging a hole with his mouth in the sand and bury his head in there! weirdo.

After all playing with them... I felt super hot siah. Only to realise that I was burnt when I went to bathe. Gosh. Now it hurts like mad. Feel like my face is cracking when I smile too hard.

They called me a loster. Oh great.

What's the worst thing that can be done to a person who is sun-burnt? Hit her on her shoulder.
Thanks Beni and Pris.

I'm concerned. Do dogs get sun-burnt? Hmmm. I pray not.

European Union Decision on Official Language

2005-09-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

Received this thru email from leon...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!

Prayer Requests for the Thai Ministry

2005-09-14T00:57:00.000+08:00

Got the following from the bulletin from the 10th Anniversary Celebration... thought it will be good to get everyone praying for these:

Praise the LORD for the newly appointed deacons - Wisanu, Witchit, Weekit & Samakee. Pray for them to be good models for the other believers and to serve the LORD and His church faithfully.

Pray that the Thai Ministry in Glory Presbyterian Church may continue to be the sending base for the missions work in Thailand.

Pray for stability of the Thai ministry, that all fellow Singaporean, Thai and Korean co-workers in this ministry will serve and work together harmoniously.

Pray for the English teachers to teach the Thai people with love and patience.

Pray for the Thai believers to witness to other Thai brothers in Singapore.

Pray that the Lord may provide a suitable full-time pastor for the Thai Ministry in Glory Presbyterian Church.

Pray for Rev. Kim and his family to be recharged with His grace and power during their sabbatical.

Thunderstorm

2005-09-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

I have never seen a thunderstorm like this... Lightning flashes every other 10 secs or so. and it's not those that appears to be far away. I can feel it so near... can feel the impact that it made on the ground even though i was in a car. I was really terrified. It was so near and strong that every time it strikes, everything turns white. AWWW. It really didn't help when my instructor who was driving said that it reminds him of War of the Worlds. And he claimed he saw one strucking the ground near the car. I pray super hard... that nothing bad will happen. I'm so glad He heard it... if not i won't be blogging about this now. We were on PIE going towards steven road... the traffic going the other way was... er. SUPER HEAVY. All the vehicles weren't moving a single inch. It was like this all the way from woodlands to beyond steven road. Disgusting man.

I was searching for a lightning picture to put up here when i found this article:

"On average, lightning kills more people per year than tornadoes. Strikes can occur many miles from the base of a thunderstorm, even without rain -- and even with the sun shining! Listening for approaching thunder is a good idea -- unless you are the target of the first flash. You can't dodge a lightning strike; and you will never see or hear the one which hits you. With that in mind, be better prepared. "

2005-09-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

it has been one long week since i had time to blog...

yesterday was the ultimate busy day... but it wasn't spread out evenly. was rushing like mad in the morning and in the evening. slacked and watched superstar at j's place... managed to catch some sleep too. oink. sunday school singpiration went on pretty good.. by God's grace... phew. but i kept making lil mistakes with the lyrics here and there... hee.

oh yah. when we were taking the lift down at j's place... the lift smelled pretty bad. there's this hamster-like thingie on the floor... candice said it looks like a dead hamster and we were convinced somehow. but then again. it smelled like mushroom.... all of us were holding our breath... squeezing in one corner of the lift. super funny. then i went to take a closer look at the thing that looks like a hamster and smells like mushroom... tada. it's a mushroom. chey....

yesterday's thai ministry 10th anniversary service went pretty well... although there were some problems with the presentation while setting up... agrh. can't work under stress... get stomachaches and i won't be able to think properly. dang. heard the dinner is pretty good... but i didn't get to enjoy it as much as i would want to. only 2 gai tor... sigh. som tom was super spicy siah...

going to teach the band in a primary school and j's school later on... cool! looking forward to play saxophone!!! woohoo!

here are some pictures from the service last night...

The 4 newly elected deacon

The speaker, Rev. Dr. Lee with Rev. Kim

English Teachers

Han Kook Mission Church Choir

GPC Combined Choir

It's great to be part of this celebration... hee. May the Lord continue to bless the Thai ministry as they step into the 10th year and into independence... Amen.

give me a BREAK!

2005-09-05T01:00:00.000+08:00

My 2-month semester break starts tomorrow... feeling kinda happy - cos i can sleep till noon and bum around... do anything i want and slack. but on the other hand, i don't want to look forward to it - it's too aimless. it's a pig's life... sleep... eat... sleep... eat... sleep... that's it. gosh. i had my fair share of it... was home bounded for 6 months earlier this year. enough!

However, somehow God has a plan for me during this break... come to think of it, there are quite a number of things i have to do:

1. Presentation for Thai Ministry 10th Anniversary (11th Sept)
2. Combined Choir Anthem "Amazing Grace" in Thai! (11th Sept)
3. Sunday School Singpiration (11th Sept)
4. Parents' Appreciation Nite Group Item (24th Sept)
5. SS Music Sunday Special Item (23th Oct)
6. SS Music Sunday Singpiration (23th Oct)
7. "Copi Gau Not Enough" Video Clip for Rev. Yap's sermon (23th Oct)

Agrh! The preparations itself are gonna kill me... Pray for me.

p.s. anyone interesting in acting in the video clip? need 3-4 actors...

the band.

2005-09-02T00:49:00.000+08:00

we are the band.

Me.

I sing... although I can't sing for nuts.

Natx.

Our guitarist who's crazy about planes.

Benitata.

Our pianist gone mad...

Pris.

Our drummer with the blur attitude...

Aaron.

Our bassist who acts 'ah mah'...

Look out for us

Glory Presbyterian Church

Sunday School Music Sunday

Teachers' Day...

2005-09-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

On this day every year, I would be busy giving out presents and cards for my teachers... thinking of ways to surprise them... but now it seems like any other day. perhaps I've grown out of it... perhaps I'm too tired.

Don't even wanna go back to my secondary school... They've made it such a hassle just to enter the school! Anyway it has been more than a year since I went back... heard that many changes have been made. many teachers have left... of course there are still some around whom I miss dearly but it's just... agrh. I would rather meet outside...

I still remember those days when I was much younger, my dream was to be a teacher. Teachers were such prominent figures in the school and they would often speak with so much authority... They were the people I look up to most. I still look up to them... in fact even more, knowing all the hardships they have to put through... the difficulties they face... but I would not want to be part of that complicated hierarchy.

To all teachers out there... "HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!"

To you... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! I thank God for you... Hang in there! no matter how much you think you're not for it. You're a good teacher... seriously.

To you... You might not be celebrating teachers' day as a teacher anymore, but i still wanna wish you a really HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! Thank you for being such a blessing... It has been an amazing transition - can never think this is possible. Thankfully for power of God.

FRAMED PRODUCTIONS

2005-09-01T11:26:00.000+08:00

This is the ident for our virtual productions company. It's for our art final project... wooohooo. looks like my specs eh? but it's actually a ******** specs i found online... hee.
hope we will do well for this project...

La Marche de l'empereur

2005-08-29T23:41:00.000+08:00

I went to watch March of the penguins in GV Marina with Michelle and Acaan Jaey this afternoon. hee. (thanks yah.. ;p) didn't really know what to expect cos I only know that we'll be watching a documentary on penguins... have never watched documentaries in cinema. always thought that they would be random shots with boring narration... boy! I was wrong! I actually like this film! What makes it more exciting would be the narrative narration... I could imagine the penguin actually saying it. hee.

The amazing journeys of the emperor penguins... all the distances they walked to mate and reproduce. it's definitely not easy being a penguin!

The noble parental love are expressed in the most unspeakable ways... the difficulties of protecting a newborn, of maintaining a life under the harsh conditions.

"In the harshest place on earth, love finds a way."

Note: Flashbacks were used in one scene... so weird. but it sure did provoke strong emotions for the dead baby penguin.

The little penguins look so fluffy and soft-toyish... aww...

The answer to my question...

While watching this film, the thought of how they filmmed this constantly invaded my mind... it's amazing how they managed to capture some of those enchanting moments! those are fantabulous shots! If only i can be part of this kind of production some day...

"Don't worry"

2005-08-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

oh man. it's easier said than done!

i've these 2 final tests tomorrow! this feeling suck. stressed. the pressure to do well... the feeling that i've not done enough to get good grades for it. and now this gastric-like pain is taking me away. agrh! i can't do this alone...

Lord, only You can help me through this...

Quote of the day

2005-08-28T23:29:00.000+08:00

"I don't have a problem with my eyesight until they checked my eyesight."

was studying in church with a few of them. don't know why we were suddenly talking about eyesight and i came up with this.

come to think of it. it's quite true hor? at least it is for me.

so, are problems with eyesight psychological?

All eyes are on us.

2005-08-28T03:01:00.000+08:00

Are you an ambassador for Christ?

Are you practising what you preach?

I was in this cab today after my cousin's birthday celebration... had a long talk with the cab driver.

I don't know how we digress but at one point we were talking about christians. (He started it!)

He was telling me and my godma about how one woman scheming went in front of the taxi stand (ignoring the queue) to flag his cab. Then he commented how people nowadays are very self-centered... I can't help but agree. He suddenly said this, "A lot of people talk to me about christianity. But i think they shouldn't criticise other people's religion... I was also a free thinker turned Buddhist. They can tell me about their religion but they shouldn't put down other religions."Then we had a really interesting conversation...

(In mandarin)
Mr. Taxi driver: Do you know City Harvest?
Me: Yah.

Mr. Taxi driver: You go there?

Me: No.
Mr. Taxi driver: Oh good. Don't go there.
Me: Eh?
Mr. Taxi driver: The people there no good one. Fight for cab! That day i saw many people calling for cab in city harvest so i went there... aiyoh. people run across the road just like that for my cab! own people fight with own people for cab! They actually have their own taxi stand set up for them but they don't want to queue... go out and fight for taxi with own people!

I paused in silence. He went on...

Mr. Taxi driver: They are supposed to be special people! but in the end they are like all of us! no use lah. Christians are just like any other people!

'Special people' occupied my mind. In their eyes, we are 'special people'??? They recognise that we are different from the rest of the world. But that's only means that we shoulder a greater responsibility to be the light of this world.

Me: They might not be Christians at all. Many claim to be Christians but they might not be at all.

Then i went on to explain the many who are "radically-churched"... the difference between them and true Christians. I was glad he took it quite well and discussed it with me open-mindedly.

Mr. Taxi driver: You are a Christian right?
Me: Yup.

We are called to be His child - to walk in the light in this world of darkness. We have to be conscious before we do anything... we are responsible to God. We also have to know that whatever we do, we are watched by everyone else. (However, we should NEVER let this be the cause for good works.) They expect to see Christ in us!

IF WE LIE, WE SET GOD OUT TO BE A LIE.

"If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth." 1 John 1:6

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Cor 5:17

Is Christ living in you?

Are you a new creation?

I pray that your answer is yes. I know mine is.

revision!

2005-08-27T01:16:00.000+08:00

i've 2 important tests on monday... intro to film and audio tech.

intro to film shouldn't be a problem, have been doing alright in this class... have been revising way beforehand.

quite worried for audio tech... my audio theory is atrocious. can't really understand all those weird concepts. have a feeling that i'm gonna fail this module. hmmm. well, whatever is going to happen... i'm gonna give my best for this coming test now! gonna make use of sunday afternoon to revise! determined.

pray for discipline to study on sunday... and for wisdom and concentration on the day of the test.

this is the day

2005-08-26T12:36:00.000+08:00

when everything went WRONG!

gosh.

had final presentation for our ART indent at 1040am. I was on time. ran into the class... oops. It's not my group. realised it's the group who is suppose to meet wendy wee at 10! what? They just ended? super over run lor. (hmmm. actually not. read on.) in the end we went in slightly after 11... sigh.

then it started pouring when my other team members went to take the mat from the akido club... oh man. They were all drenched. but what's the best thing? It stopped raining once they reached.

alrights.. We were finally in the studio. setting up. We were adjusting the black level etc... after that all the lights went off. NO LIGHTS! and so, we can't do anything until the lights are fixed.

we have 2 actual demo recording today which was spread out over 4 hours - each group having 2 hours (for set up, rehearsal, recording and striking the set). class started at 1... but at 2 plus, we were still mendling with the lights and all... and found out that the TV isn't working! our lecturer was so stressed that she went to SIM to unwind! hee...

and after that, guess what? NO SOUND! wooohooo... first no lights, then no sound. It's like telling us to postpone the whole recording lor. sigh. to patch or not to patch? that is the question of the day in the audio room. hee. thank God Hsein came up and helped us solve the problem and guided me along.

all these problems kept coming up till it was time for the 1st group's recording! It was way past 3 already lor. agrh. They said it's the "mohmohs"... hah. the helen's (the mannequin in the props room) curse. crap.

when it was my turn to host, my mic didn't have sound! this is really getting sick. so stressed that my tummy wasn't feeling good.

didn't start 2nd recording till 6.30pm! it's totally bizarre. super hungry lor....

7 hours straight of TV studio production! now, that's what i call over run.

Church in Donkor

2005-08-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

Before (June)

After (August)

When I went for the mission trip in Thailand, we actually had the opportunity to help in the building up of the church in Donkor. I've never done this kind of construction work before... hoeing, cement-mixing, leveling etc... super cool. It was really hard work man... whole body was aching the next day. But it was really a good experience. especially when i know i'm doing God's work! It was really meaningful... At the end of the day - there's this indescribable sense of involvement. It's like WOW.

Attended Thai service yesterday... haven't had the time to for quite some time. It was really great seeing more people now in the Thai Church. Realise i seem to be able to understand more Thai now. woohoo! somehow. the art of guessing. Anyways, they had a lil presentation on the churches in Thailand... when they showed the completed church in Donkor (the 2nd pic), it brought tears to my eyes. It's so amazing! I could never imagine i would actually see a church built up and be involved in it first hand! There's this deep sense of achievement and i couldn't help but marvel at God's wonderful work. Indeed, all this happened in His time. Our God is an awesome God. Amen!

2005-08-20T23:50:00.000+08:00

woke up at 230pm today! wooohooo! more than 13 hours of sleep... just what i needed man.

just came back from my parent's house all the way in pasir ris...

uncle samuel and aunty su ying wanted to visit so we went over in the late afternoon... got a lift from them. thankfully. it's always a dread travelling. haven't seen my mom for quite long too. she seems to be getting better. *happy* after uncle sam and aunty su ying left, my mom cooked laska. i was forced to eat a lot... super full now siah. bro was at home too... managed to play with him a lil. got to see my doggies! played with them and brought them down for a walk after dinner... hee.

anyway... i'm really glad that uncle samuel and aunty su ying came over. it was really encouraging for my family. my mom was really grateful for the visitors that came all the way down and for the concern shown. it somehow acted as an assurance for my mom that i'm fitting in well and growing in Glory... have been in my parents' church since i was super young. it was quite hard for them to accept the change and my decision to leave then... but now, i believe that she's assured. Thanks.

Do continue to pray for my mom... for God's hands to continue to be upon her. For my dad... thank God that he has finally found a job! pray that he'll continue to be in the Lord even though his new job does not allow him to go to church.

Thanks to all who have been praying for me and my family...

kelvin vs. kelly

2005-08-19T00:18:00.000+08:00

Kelvin (weilian) and Kelly has emerged as the male and female champion respectively in Project Superstar...

gosh. can't believe this.

actually i'm quite satisfied with the ladies' result... i'll quit watching channel u altogether if xinhui won.

but weilian. sigh. junyang is so much better... his voice is much more pleasant and he has got the x factor that will bring him far in this entertainment circle. weilian has no stage charisma. he's so boring to watch... it's just so impossible.

it's not that i'm against him. nor his disabilities. i'm just thinking ahead... i don't see a future for him. people will not support him because of his talents but more will vote for him out of sympathy. it's not as if he is the best vocalist anyway.

i'm rooting for Kelly now... finals in National Stadium.

NO MORE

2005-08-17T11:59:00.000+08:00

CATS and IAC!!!

wooohooo... had both final presentations today! think we did quite well. it's the end of these IS modules! no more going to school on wednesday! yeah! from now on i'm having a 3-day week! hah.

school is ending soon... holidays are coming. i'm looking forward to it yet i don't want it to come... hmmm. so contradicting. well, cos i'm desperate for a break. but at the same time i don't like the idea of zohbohing my time away... agrh.

went to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at plaza sing... i like it! haven't watch a movie as such for ages. ever since Big Fish i think... and i've finally learnt how to train myself to get out of the analysing mode to really enjoy the film! hee. ever since i'm in my course, i'm taught how to look at the different aspects of the film... mise en scene, lighting, motifs, editing etc... agrh. most of the time i get so engrossed in the details that i don't caught the plot at all. and i would be really upset if that happens... so.

anyways... i'm not going to tell you what the show is about so go watch charlie.. it's really nice. and you would feel real good after that...

p.s. try not to bring snacks in if possible... you won't be able to finish it. esp. green and purple stuff... hah.

flashbacks.

2005-08-16T00:59:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i blogged... it's one whole long week! well, have been too busy to sit down and write... with school work, merlion events etc... sleep deprived!

wanted to blog on the stand in the gap held in church last week but i was too busy to. or rather, too lazy to. sigh. lots of things happened over the past week.

interview actual recording on last thurs! wooohooo!!! so glad it's over... although there had been some minor hiccups here and there... i'm quite happy with it. at least it was decent. putting the silent moments we had aside. hehe. had a quiz on fri. intro to film. seems pretty easy. shouldn't have a problem passing. then it was church till late...

sat was CRAZY! shooting in the morning... then rushed down to Fuchun Pri to go to Singapore Arts Museum for merlion performance. (nah. i didn't play my merlion that day... was the emcee for the day. postlude after the paragon event! realised i can quite crap... hah.) after that we had venezia ice cream.. yums. and dinner was at tian jin in bras basah. band instructors' treat - thanks! and guess what? KTV after that!!! shiok man! sang for 4 hours plus...

sunday was another long busy day.... aiyoh. after i dropped by in church, i went to National History Museum for the merlion talk cum performance... it was quite a big event, reporters from the press and TV stations were there... woo. super nervous initially - i was the emcee. agrh. but by the grace of God, i managed to pull it off well. phew. then went to help at my godma's mom's coffeeshop at dunlop street... all the way tilll 11 plus... shacked.

super tired and blur today... had lecture then BS in church with mich. after that i went to school for audio lecture which was supposedly at 4pm. went to school. hey... the doors are locked. no one's talking. back door's locked too. knocked. no one answered. gosh. no class... crap. forgot.

alrights... that's how busy i was. but well, we should not forget God no matter how busy we are!

still trying to perfect the 2 songs... let's jiayou together!

hit by the waves

2005-08-08T23:31:00.000+08:00

i was talking to someone one day... it set me thinking. read on. maybe it will set you thinking as well...

her: hey, are you very involved in your church?
me: involved? what do you mean?
her: as in do you go to church more than once a week for service?
me: yup...
her: what do you do in church?
me: i attend the youth fellowship in my church.. it's on fridays. and i'm in my church's choir... also on fridays. and i'll attend the thai service on sunday when i'm free.

she's a non-believer. i'm not sure why she asked me so many questions... it doesn't seem like she's interested. she seems like she's trying to find out something.

her: don't you feel tired having to juggle so many things? you got time meh? aren't you very busy?
me: yah.. i feel tired very often but i've to find time for everything. and it's a different kind of feeling when i do things in church.
her: huh?
me: i mean.. aiyah. don't know how to explain lah. it's just different. doing something i think is important. although it wouldn't seem as important to other people.

hee. very often i will be loss for words. times when i can't put what i want to say into words. it's frustrating i know - for the person i talk to. but hey. i do feel frustrated too.

her: ok... ask you ah. if you find a job you love very much but it will not allow you to go to church at all. what will you do?
me: got job like that one meh? disallow me to go to church? is it some kind of anti-Christ organisation? haha.
her: not lah. maybe your job would require you to work on weekends? then you won't have time to go to church on sunday mornings... then how?

i paused for a moment. hmmmm. i know what my answer SHOULD be... but i don't know what my answer WOULD be. it's so true... i should start thinking of this right now. i'm heading into an industry that would probably require me to work irregular hours, on weekends even. what would my answer be? to give up my job for the Lord? then wouldn't it be senseless that i'm studying so hard now to get into THIS industry?

is this Your will, Lord? what should i do? show me thy will... lead me. guide me.

her: *sigh* i don't understand why some Christians must go to church every week. are you like that too?
me: i would think that i would want to go to church every week. but in times of situations that doesn't allow me to, i would weigh the importance.
her: what if you have a school performance?
me: hmmm. i think for competitions, performances... those are pretty valid reasons. it would be ok to miss church once for that. provided that there are no responsibilties that needs to be fulfilled in church that particular week lah... eh. it depends on how they place their priorities lor.
her: i've some students that are just so stubborn! they die die must go to church one leh. cannot miss church means cannot miss church!

i felt a need to defend the "other" christians she was talking about... but i wasn't given a chance to.

her: hey... come to think of it. what you are studying now would probably land you in the filmming industry right? then they got all those rituals before filmming one right? what would you do ah?
me: don't get involved lor...

as i said that, my mind was in a real mess... i was still thinking of all she asked previously. then i got really random. i started thinking about something someone said to me about where i'm heading... i think it was the speaker for youth sunday. he came up to me all of a sudden between service and talked to me... we began to talk about what i'm studying and he said this: "what you are studying now is very crucial, it can either get you down with the rest or you can make use of it to change the lives of others. i certainly pray that it's the latter." i pray for that too.

her: will you give up what you love for your god?
me: i'm sure that my god has a purpose for taking away something that i love and that i hold on to dearly. He knows what is best for me.

i am glad i said that. at least i'm sure of something...

her: ok... i'm a buddhist you know?
me: yup.

i don't know why she asked that question... it feels awkward after that. silence prevails...

Lord, put Your words in my mouth that i might say what you want me to say. that i may manifest your love and grace. take me, mould me, fill me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me Lord. may i stand in the gap between the living and the dead. may all i do be pleasing to Your eyes. thank you for teaching me so many important lessons through so many ways and people. i pray in Your most precious name. amen.

busy me...

2005-08-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

been super super busy... projects and assignments are just piling up. feel as though i'm drowning... slept at 5 last night! or this morning to be exact. been in school since 10 in the morning till 10 at night... gosh.

had art class - forgot that there is a test. sigh. didn't study at all. but i don't think i'll fail... somehow.

studio prod was kinda stressful... it was rehearsal for next week's actual recording for interview. lots of hiccups.... but it was good experience.

had to stay for audio final project recording... almost fell asleep while recording! super tired.

i foresee that it's going to be same for the next few days... agrh. tomorrow school till 3pm then continue with project pilot... oh yah. thank God that aunty cat agreed to help us act for one of the scene! phew. then YF and choir!

saturday's morning for project pilot again then i'll spend the whole day in paragon for the band performances...

leading sunday school singpiration on sunday... then again whole day in paragon!

my oh my... when will this end?

never felt this kind of stress... the pressure that suppresses me.

Lord, help me to set my eyes on You. No one but You alone. All that i do, i do it for You.

Here I am Lord

2005-07-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

the last time i heard this song was when michael was still conducting the choir in church... i was really in love with this song... the melody was so capturing. tracy and dom did the solo parts and i thought they did a really wonderful job. i've always envied people who can sing really well... it's really a gift.

the choir is going to present this song again. however this time is really different. steven and i have got to sing the solo parts. it also speaks to me in a different way this time. the words became the focal point of the whole song, the melody that i fell in love with wasn't as important as before... having to sing the lines over and over again. each word spoke to me.

"I, the Lord of sea and sky
I have heard my people cry
All who dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save

I, who made the stars of night
I will make their darkness bright
Who will bear my light to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night
I will go Lord
If You lead me
I will hold Your people in my heart

I, the Lord of snow and rain
I have borne my people's pain
I have wept for love of them
They turn away

I will break their hearts of stone
Give them hearts for love alone
I will speak my word to them
Whom send I send?

Here I am, Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night
I will go Lord
If You lead me
I will hold Your people in my heart

I, the Lord of wind and flame
I will tend the poor and lame
I will set a feast for them
My hand will save

Finest bread I will provide
Till their hearts be satisfied
I will give my life to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night
I will go Lord
If You lead me
I will hold Your people in my heart"

Lord, may all that i do be pleasing in Your eyes. Lord, help me to forget about myself and fix my eyes on You and You alone. Let it not be a performance but an offering unto You Father. Touch the hearts of the congregation and bless them with Your abundant grace and mercy. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Performance at Paragon

2005-07-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

spent the whole afternoon in Paragon today...

performed the merlion38 in the mall... it's quite a unique experience... never performed in a shopping centre before - not even when i was in band. there was a crowd and there were people peering out from different levels. kinda exciting actually. especially when i was emceeing... i've seen emcees in the mall promoting products - they would just go on and on... gosh. and there i was, promoting the merlion38... just went on and on without a script. cool. we performed twice with a 15 mins interval.

then we had to stay on to help organise the other performances - compassvale pri merlion38 group and teck whye pri sch band... kinda sabo-ed again. super last minute lor. 15 mins before the show i was told to be the emcee for their performances... but it comes out quite naturally this time. it's feels kinda weird actually... to hear my own voice resounding in the whole shopping centre. found myself kept looking upwards at the shoppers who were peering out from above when i speak.... hee.

after that my instructor treated us to a steamboat dinner at paradiz centre... it's this restaurant beside tao's - forgot what's it called. but the food there is not bad lah. can do. the sour plum vinegar is very nice... recommended! and the milk pudding... very nice.... aw... the ambience quite cool leh. if you decide to have some fresh air, there is something like an open air 'min ge chan ting'... quite cool. i like...

oh yah... it was raining suoer heavily this afternoon when i went to town. so heavy that it blew everyone's umbrellas away... the wind was so strong that it was destroying all the little stores on the roadside man. gosh. people who hang out with me long enough would know that i don't like to bring umbrella out... so i was stuck at the bus stop outside heerens for 15 mins before i decided to "run" (i can't run yet... so... heh. i was just walking quicky) into heerens. then i bought an umbrella from the counter for $3... hee. so blessed.

God is so good!

2005-07-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

God has been so good to me... so good that i'm overwhelmed!

been having tests for the past few weeks... i was busy studying but i must admit i didn't really put my whole heart in to study... kept getting distracted. But He was there for me all the time! He does listen to prayers, He heard mine...

Art and Design Test
didn't managed to cover all the topics... but He blessed me with full marks!

Studio Pro Written Test
i studied quite hard for this... was quite confident that i would do well. but i became complacent... forgot all about committing it to God. didn't know how to do almost half the paper.... left the test with a bad feeling that i might fail it. but guess what? i was shocked when i got back my paper.... i passed! and it wasn't a really bad pass... thank God!

Audio Practical Test
oh man... how i hate audio classes. can't help but fall asleep when the lecturer starts to talk! yes, he is that boring. i was really lost most of the time... and it doesn't help that it's a practical test which i can't study for! agrh. ..............went in thinking - "oh no..." but again, God helped me through! i don't know how but i could somehow answer my lecturer's question and do the things he told me to do! it's really a miracle...

Intro to Film Test
that very same day i had this test.... it's a written test. the sort that you hafta write essays... ahhh... i studied for this test way before the test... i actually pia-ed the whole night through for it! but that day itself i couldn't really concentrate... kept getting distracted. it was bad... went into the classroom feeling quite 'se-eh'. i couldn't focus there and then. oh man... "sure fail one" kept ringing in my ear! but He didn't let me fail... He is really capable of anything!

Audio Written Test
am i blur or what? i didn't know that the test was scheduled for that day until i walked into the lecture theatre full of students with their heads down! crap... 90% blank. believe it or not. i really didn't know how to do. sigh. i was like... that's it. i'm going to fail it. no matter how amazing God can be! He can't help me when i leave so many blanks on my paper!

BUT one day after lecture... my lecturer held me back and talked to me. asked if i was having any difficulties in his class. then i simply said i didn't know about the test.... i thought he was going to dismiss it as an excuse. but he didn't. he even decided to set a retest paper for me! i was amazed.

Studio Pro Practical Test
i was supposed to take the test last week but i wasn't feeling well... super thankful that ms hong was nice enough to let me go back to rest! can't imagine what will happen if i took the test that day man... the test today was good! got 12.4/15... God blessed me with ms hong for all my 5 stations! wow. she is really lenient lor....

Amazing!

God is so good! He's so good to me! ('',)

just jam. no butter.

2005-07-27T00:42:00.000+08:00

went to pris' house for dinner and to jam after school yesterday... dinner was way good man. yummilicious. thanks!

jamming was really cool. miss those times when i would sit around with a couple of friends and sing... hee. this time i actually had the chance to share and sing the songs i've written over the years... heh. it's not very good lah. especially with the lyrics part. not really good with words i guess. and even more so after the sermon on music sunday... everyone's more conscious of what they sing and hear now! *stressed* but it was really super cool to be singing new songs to the Lord, praising His name.

i don't really compose songs actually. i just make up the tune in my head... no chords. no scores. just me humming the melody, adding in the words. that's it. heh. never really shared those songs for they never sound good enough. ugh. but this time i'm digging them all out for the band. so... hee. we can work on it together! the songs still have lots of areas that can be improved...

looking forward to our next jamming session! woooohooo!!!

happy birthday... lil bro.

2005-07-26T14:59:00.000+08:00

happy birthday... lil bro.

i actually almost forgot that it's your birthday today... i'm so ashamed of myself for not being the kind of sister i should be. sorry if i haven't been spending time with you, to listen to what you want to say, to play with you...

it's kinda sad that we can't live together and do many things that other siblings do... many times when i haven't seen you for a really long time, i would be afraid that you would forget who i am... that you would forget that i'm your sister. but you didn't. you would always be so happy to see me. it really warms my heart. it does. though i may not express it in the most obvious ways... i'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed someone to guide you and teach you what to do when you face problems.

you've really grown up... you're almost taller than me now. but it feels like you've grown up too quickly... i barely had the chance to carry when you were little... barely had the chance to play and seek... barely had the chance to hear you cry... barely had the chance to squeeze your chubby cheeks...

but somehow i really hope you'll grow up soon to understand many things... to understand that we didn't put you aside to live with grandpa and grandma for no reason. remember that we're in this situation together... you're not alone. i went through this phase too... i didn't understand why i can't live together with mom and dad.. leading a life as though i had no parents... it's not a good feeling i understand. but all these happen for a purpose. and only He knows what it is. seek and ask the Lord, He will definitely reveal His wonderful plans to you one day...

i pray that you will grow up in the Lord... that you'll truly receive Him as your personal saviour. that whatever problems you'll encounter, go to Him. He will always be there for you. many times human will fail you but God will never fail you nor forsake you. He alone is faithful and true. trust in Him.

thank you for being who you are.

happy birthday.